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Who is James Spader dating? 'The Blacklist' star found love with Leslie Stefanson after divorcing Victoria Kheel

Spader's first wife was Victoria Kheel and they met on the sets of the film 'Sex, Lies, and Videotape' where Kheel worked as a set designer

James Spader is well known for his role as Raymond 'Red' Reddington on NBC's 'The Blacklist' and while he has a mysterious past that everyone seems to want to know about, the actor's real life has been mostly private. Nonetheless, as a celebrity, he's been on the map. Many often wonder if the actor was married, is married or who he's dating. So let's get into Spader's love life, which is said to be extremely private.

James Spader and Victoria Kheel

Spader's first wife was Victoria Kheel and the duo had met on the sets of the film 'Sex, Lies, and Videotape' where Kheel worked as a set designer. Reports indicate that she also worked as a yoga instructor. Spader and Kheel married in 1987 after dating for over a decade. The duo had two sons named Sebastian and Elijah and according to reports both his children have worked in the entertainment industry. Besides what we know, much of their relationship was kept private with Spader not answering questions about it even in interviews. According to court records though, Spader filed for divorce from Kheel in April 2003 through The Los Angeles County Superior Courts. They were officially divorced in 2004.

A tweet of the duo's photograph was posted in 2016 and it read: "#JamesSpader #victoriakheel #nostalgia." 

While the reason behind the divorce was not revealed, Spader did tell Independent UK, "I didn’t think the TV show through. I was just working all the time. Far too much to lead a very healthy life. I just don’t think acting that much in a year is good for you." He also spoke of his family life adding, "Most of the films I’ve made were because I’d run out of money. But I’d still be looking for the best film I could find at that time. I always tried not to have my career be too much of a burden to my children, but looking back, I think that was a mistake.”

If you're wondering how he would have changed it if he could, Spader added, "In retrospect, I could have incorporated the kids a little more in terms of what it is I do. I’ve known a fair amount of kids who’ve grown up in a household with family members who are public figures of some sort and see how dangerous that can be. Sometimes their parents’ lives can seem bigger than life when of course you’re not bigger than life, no one is. You are who you are.”

James Spader and Leslie Stefanson

Since his divorce from Kheel, Spader has had a long-term relationship with his 'Alien Hunter' co-star Leslie Stefanson. They have been together for over a decade now, hitting 17 years in 2020. The duo became parents to Spader's third child Nathaneal in 2008. The couple met in 2002 and since then Leslie has retired from acting and is now a sculptor. Yet again, Spader has kept his private life private.

In an interview with Playboy in 2014, he said, "I’ve been very successful keeping a private face on things, even out in public. If you’re recognizable and you want to draw people to you in public, you can do that. I don’t. If people put their lives in the public eye a lot, people feel as if they’ve gotten to know them through the media. I try not to open the door to my private life in a public way.” But on a sweet note when asked about his romance, Spader told Playboy, "Be of love a little more careful than of everything,” wrote e.e. cummings. Pay attention. Take great care, especially in things that are taken for granted." As of most recent news, the couple spends time both in New York and Los Angeles. The couple isn't married as of yet.