'Slow, banal and pointless': Critics roast Robert Pattinson's WOKE 'The Batman'

The DC flick, ahead of its March 4 release, is being criticized for a runtime that borders three hours and for its 'goth Batman' and 'woke Catwoman'
UPDATED MAR 1, 2022
Robert Pattinson in a still from 'The Batman' (Warner Bros)
Robert Pattinson in a still from 'The Batman' (Warner Bros)

There is not a morsel of doubt when we say that 'The Batman' is one of the most-anticipated movies of the year. The reboot of a franchise that has seen the likes of Michael Keaton, Val Kilmer, George Clooney, Christian Bale, and Ben Affleck don the suit is slated to release on Friday, and fans of the vigilante are waiting eagerly. 

Helmed by Matt Reeves, 'The Batman' has an ensemble cast of talented artists such as Robert Pattinson, Zoe Kravitz, Paul Dano, Jeffrey Wright, John Turturro, Peter Sarsgaard, Andy Serkis, and Colin Farrell. The upcoming action flick will see Pattinson as a superhero for the first time. Set a year after Bruce Wayne begins to fight crime as Batman, the film focuses on the titular character's pursuit of the supervillain Riddler as he goes about murdering the elite of Gotham city. Wayne's pursuit results in him uncovering ties to his own family, and the billionaire crimefighter is forced to forge new alliances to bring an end to the crime wave. 

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However, ahead of the Warner Bros flick's release, the film is being bashed by critics for its execution, performances, and runtime. Describing the film as an "old-school mystery" with a "banal story", Johnny Oleksinski of the New York Post began his review with a question. "What's the point?" Oleksinski asks as he compares 'The Batman' to the 'Saw' films, taking a dig at the Riddler's choice of weapons. Calling the film "a slowly paced detective noir," he also criticized the film's runtime and Pattinson's and Kravitz's performances. 

Roger Friedman of Showbiz411 called Pattinson's rendition of Bruce Wayne "young and goth", adding that Reeves' imagination of Bruce was that of "a disaffected Kurt Cobain with dark circles under his eyes and a nary comb in sight." Friedman also called Kravitz a "woke Catwoman" who "gets the most interaction with Batman", describing Gotham society as "rich, privileged white people."

In his review for the San Francisco Chronicle, Mick LaSalle called the new Batman a "mopey sort of guy" who is a "big stiff". He went on to suggest that Pattinson's performance lacked "depth" and that the actor hammered the audience "over and over for three hours" with his "cramped understanding" of the character. 

Jake Coyle, writing for the Associated Press, found 'The Batman' to be a "morose mood piece" that was "soaked in shadow and rage." He added that the film had "stripped the comic's archetypes down to abstracted silhouettes and grubbily human characters" and that if "Jim Carrey's Riddler were to wander into this movie, he would fit in about as well as Bugs Bunny in 'Taxi Driver'." Coyle goes on to share his opinion on how the film unfolds, saying, "You can feel its hold slipping as it extends into its lengthy running time," citing Pattinson as one of the reasons and that "his performance is largely limited to either sudden eruptions of fury or timid skulking in the shadows."

Fortunately, 'The Batman' has also received its fair share of positive reviews, with many finding the film to be a "beautifully shot", "good", and "gripping" Batman film. Robbie Collin of the Telegraph wrote a glowing review, saying the lead pair "generate an astonishing sensual charge in a brilliant addition to the Batman canon that refuses to behave like a blockbuster" and that the film had "a deep bench of tremendous character performances that add enthralling color and intrigue to the winding underworld mystery plot." 

Writing for the Independent, Clarisse Loughrey called 'The Batman' a "very good Batman film", stating that the film seemed "more intimate" than other Batman films. She was also of the opinion that Reeves took too long to tell "a relatively simple story of its hero's moral awakening." Loughrey concluded her review by saying, "The Batman has risen - but it might be pushing its luck if it decides to return." 

'The Batman' is slated to release in cinemas on March 4, 2022.

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