Teen Mom OG's Tyler Baltierra says he is his 'worst enemy' after he reveals battle with bipolar disorder
During the Teen Mom OG Reunion, Tyler Baltierra revealed that he had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and even though he has refused to take medicines and opted for natural options, it seems like the reality star is fighting too hard to keep his mind focused on things.
Tyler recently took to Twitter and expressed his disappointment with himself. "Whats wrong with this brain of mine. How can I just sit here & build up so much f**king rage & pain inside," Tyler wrote on Twitter. "It’s like I’m my own worst enemy & fighting this demon inside of me possesses all of my energy, so where’s the preacher at? I’ve been cursed & I don’t think I’m coming back."
The reality star also revealed that as a kid he used to write and it happened to be something which made him feel good. Tyler confessed that after putting a stop to writing he had decided to get back at it and fill the pages with his thoughts. "I have always loved writing & as a kid, I used to write poetry, I had pages full of it! But I gave it up when I got a little older & ended up throwing it all away. I’ve been inspired recently to pick it back up & I’m on a mission to refill my notebook!" he captioned while sharing some of the things he had written recently.
In the writings posted by Tyler, it can be seen that he is not someone who is ready to give up so soon. 'It's okay though," he wrote. "Cause all of this weight is building muscles I never knew I had. It's making me realize that I can still find the strength as a man even without the influence of a dad." Tyler has often spoken about how his dad, Butch has struggled with substance abuse and he happened to be the one to take his dad to rehab.
Despite this and with his wife, Catelyn being in rehab as well, Tyler still feels he can make it through and come victorious. "I will take this weight, tie it around both my wrists, drag it up this mountain and make it to the top without taking any breaks," Tyler continued. He further added that no matter what thoughts might come to his mind every now and then, he would not let them bring him down.
"I'm a force to be reckoned with, I'm spellbound in this brain of mine. So, I take all the thoughts trapped in mind and then cook them up, then brew them up, then mix it up, then boil it all back to see nothing but a steel framed trap that I created just to stay up, stand strong, and stand tall and now back!" he wrote.
Tyler made it clear that no matter how hard life gets, suicide is not an option; not for him, not for anyone else. "From on top of this mountain, I'll cut these ties, not my wrists. I will fight with these words instead of my fists. I'll take this new found strength, leap and fly out of this cage and I'll make sure I'm the only one in control and I'm the only one turning the page," he wrote.
After Tyler opened up about his bipolar disorder, he took to Twitter to explain how he decided to talk about his diagnosis. "Honestly, I wasn't even planning on releasing that info. But once Cate mentioned about my recent diagnosis, I figured 'what the hell?!' Like, why am I so against telling anyone?! It's actually been a little easier to digest since I have been talking about it more. #KeepingtalkingMH," he wrote.
In the past, Tyler has also opened up about being diagnosed with depression, and trying to commit suicide at the age of 11. "I've been diagnosed with depression here and there, whenever I've gone back to therapy and whatnot," Tyler explained. "Recently, I went to a new place and based on a couple of sessions I had with them, they said, 'Look, based off a snapshot of your symptoms, we think you may be on the bipolar spectrum as well.'"