'Needs to be there for you': Internet backs woman who stopped husband from attending family funeral
Would it be okay if you didn't let your husband go to his stepbrother's fiance's funeral? What if when you are 36 weeks pregnant? A 30-year-old woman found herself in the same dilemma and now she has sought opinions from fellow internet users by sharing a post in Reddit's popular 'Am I The A**hole' forum. The post has garnered over 10,000 upvotes and more than 3000 comments.
In the Reddit post titled titled "AITA for not wanting my husband to go to his stepbrother's fiancée's funeral?" The user wrote in the ordeal, "I'm 30, currently 36 weeks pregnant. It's been an okay pregnancy so far, but one thing I can't stand is traveling (makes me nauseous), and flying is a big no since how far along I am."
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The perplexed mom-to-be continued explaining the ordeal, "My husband's, 32, stepbrother's fiancee passed away, and the funeral is next week. It's in another state and he would have to fly out. As I mentioned, flying is something I can't do physically, so I, unfortunately, won't be able to go."
As her physical situation is not in the best place to travel by flight, her husband insisted on going alone to stay there for "a week" when she can anytime go into labor, "My husband wants to go by himself but I want him to stay with me, in case anything happens god forbid but also for support just in case. Next week, when the funeral happens, is he staying there for another week with his stepbrother, my husband said because he needs to be there for him." She then subsequently suggested that he do a "video call" with his stepbrother, but he responded by calling her "unsupportive". "I suggested he video call with his stepbrother to be there for him, but he said he needs to be there and I'm being unsupportive of him. We got into an argument over this and he's been pissed off at me since, but I don't know if I really am being unsupportive of my husband. AITA?" she added.
'He needs to be there for you right now'
One user wrote supporting the mom-to-be as she is in the crucial stage of pregnancy, "NTA. You'll be 38 weeks pregnant by the time he gets back? Is anyone proclaiming OP TA actually doing the pregnancy math here? She could literally go into labor at any point during the week he's gonna be gone for." While another seconded the comment and added, "Indeed. In my family alone I know of at least 4 babies that were born at the 37-38 week mark. I don’t think the people calling OP the AH fully understand that most babies don’t pop out at exactly 40 weeks, it can happen anytime between 37 and 42 in a healthy pregnancy.
Assuming the husband will be back in time for the birth is taking quite the gamble. I don’t necessarily think he’s an AH for wanting to support his step-brother, but staying for a week and calling his wife unsupportive for not agreeing to it is certainly an AH move. He’s in a difficult position, but he can’t pretend OP’s concerns are baseless."
Another supportive user wrote, "I gave birth at 38 weeks exactly. I wouldn’t have let my husband go either. If he wanted to go for just the funeral and stay maybe one night I might be ok with that but he wants to stay an entire week. NTA, what happened is unfortunate and I feel bad for his step bro and their family, but he needs to be there for you right now."
"I’m very concerned that everyone is skipping over the fact that you’ll be 37 weeks pregnant when he leaves and he will stay away for a week, making you 38 weeks pregnant," one user on the woman's team wrote NTA. "This means you’ll be alone, ready to pop for a week. He shouldn’t go on this trip and if he does go, it should be for 1 day. He can pay respects, see the family, and then come home to be with the family he chose to create," another comment added.