Natalie Wood's daughter Natasha says she 'have had to make peace with not knowing' how her mother died
Natalie Wood's daughter Natasha Gregson Wagner has recalled her memories of the Hollywood heartthrob in a new memoir and described being "gripped by the fear" her mother "was going to die," only for it to come true.
Natalie, 43, died in a drowning accident in the waters off of Catalina Island in November 1981 following a drunken night aboard hers and husband Robert Wagner's 60-feet yacht, the Splendor.
Her tragic death left Hollywood, and the rest of the world, reeling, and in her new memoir 'More Than Love,' Natasha revealed her reaction when her father broke the news to her the following morning.
"After Daddy confirmed that my mother was gone, the sensation I most vividly remember is pure terror," she wrote. "Did the one thing I’ve been most scared of my whole life actually just happen?"
"My mom was so huge in her love and her heart and her laughter and in her life, and then overnight, it just left, and I became a shadow of myself."
Natasha has remained tight-lipped about her mother's death in the three decades that have passed but opened up in her memoir, as well as new HBO documentary 'Natalie Wood: What Remains Behind,' which will premiere on May 3.
For the first time, Natasha, who was just 11 when she learned she would be growing up without a mother, has addressed the events of that fateful night and attempted to clear up rumors that have plagued her since.
"I want to set the record straight and I want to live in the light," she said. "And I want my mom’s memory to live in the light."
While the death was initially ruled accidental, the Los Angeles police reopened their investigation into the case in 2011 following the publication of Suzanne Finstad's biography that had called into question Wagner's role in the drowning.
The coroner had subsequently changed the cause of death from "accidental drowning" to "drowning and other undetermined factors," but Wagner, now 90 and named a "person of interest," has repeatedly denied any involvement.
Natasha, seemingly in support of her father, stated that she believed her mother had too much to drink, slipped on the steps of the boat, and fallen into the water after trying to tie up a dingy that was banging against the boat.
"I have always understood that my mother slipped and fell, bruising her body and possibly ending up unconscious before she entered the water — but we can never know with complete certainty," she wrote.
"I have had to make peace with not knowing," she continued. "I wish others could do the same."
Instead, she said she would focus on the things she did know about her mother and how she was "an artist who struggled and she was brave and she was happy."
"I felt so proud of her," she said. "I'm proud that she was so thoughtful and that she wanted to be more than a movie star."
"She was a fairytale to me in a way and I feel like she was waiting for me to get to a place in my growth where I could come and breathe life into her. Maybe she was ready sooner but she knew that I wasn’t. But now I am."