Teen Mom's Leah Messer almost drove off a cliff while battling opioid addiction, says daughters saved her
Leah Messer is documenting her tumultuous life in her memoir 'Hope, Grace & Faith'. She has penned down all the highs and lows of her life spanning 27 years and she has been promoting the book for quite some time now.
She has made candid mentions within the book of her failed marriages to exes Corey Simms and Jeremy Calvert, her suicidal thoughts after her daughter's muscular dystrophy, her father's addiction to hydrocodone and her abortion that she documented as a miscarriage to viewers of her MTV show, with the help of her mother and representative.
In an interview with a media outlet, the reality star put forth her thoughts behind penning a tell-all about her tragic suicidal thoughts. "I don't want anyone else to feel alone. I don't want anyone else to feel ashamed of their story."
"So I was like, I get to speak up. I get to use my voice. I get to speak my truth... If I can save one life from addiction, one life from suicide, that's where my heart is," Messer stated.
Messer's addiction was well-documented on-camera and viewers of the show saw her struggle with pills many times as she fought to keep her eyes open while the cameras were still rolling.
Her suicidal thoughts and the incident where she almost was about to drive herself off a cliff after her daughter's diagnosis, served as a wake-up call for her to seek help for her opioid addiction.
"When I wanted to commit suicide, that's when I realized there was an underlying issue. Being suicidal and wanting to take my life and leave my girls without a mom is what led me to seek... you know, I needed help. And that was OK. And it was OK."
Messer also credits her management and the team at MTV helped her a lot when she was struggling. "I draw blanks to the period of my life because it doesn't seem like that was... it doesn't even... I look at it and I'm like, was that really me? Was I really nodding off?"
"Like, was I really under that much medication? It didn't even dawn on me until I was finally like, I don't even want to live anymore. I'm not worth, like, my life is not worth living. And then it was like, my management and MTV stepped in."
Messer also admits that she thought she could recover "all on my own" and felt asking for treatment was a "stigma".
Elaborating further on her abortion after she ended up pregnant with ex-husband Calvert's baby and then painting it out to be a tragic mishap when in fact she underwent an abortion because of her conflicted feelings for her ex-husband Corey Simms and knowing that a child would deter all chances of her getting back with the latter.
"I don't regret any decision that I've made because it has made me the person that I am today," says Messer. "Had I been who I am today, maybe I wouldn't have made that decision. I don't choose to dwell in that period of my life. Where I didn't own my story. Where I didn't own my truth. Where I felt unworthy of love."
She is also aware that a lot of her fans "felt disappointed" now that they know it was a cover-up. She adds that it was not her intent, "That's the last thing I would want anyone to feel that supports me and my journey." she said.
The reality star has twin daughters Aleeah and Aliannah, 10, with Simms, and a daughter Adalynn, aged seven, with Jeremy.
Messer is in good terms with both her exes and is doing everything in her capacity to be a role model for her daughters and give them the life she never had. "I always said if there's one thing, I wanted to give my kids the life I didn't have. And I'm doing that."