'Whole post pissed me off': Person meets grieving sister to 'lift her spirits,' gets slammed
Asking a person to look on the bright side is okay in some situations. When a person is grieving, however, this might not be the best way to console them. This was exactly what a person, who faced people’s wrath online after sharing a very personal exchange with their sister, learnt the hard way. The Reddit user, who goes by the handle Traditional_Cost_45, posted on the subreddit page, "AITA for telling my sister she is better off being infertile?”
The Redditor said on the post, “Despite trying to conceive for years and having no success with her husband every month, my sister (31F) felt like a supreme disappointment. Her head knew she was not at fault, but she was saying that not being able to give her husband ‘the gift of children’, which is seen to most people as a wifely duty made her feel broken and not whole.”
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‘Children would not be an option’
The Redditor said that their sister was “diagnosed with endometriosis,” and noted, “A simple surgery, which was scheduled for last week, was supposed to correct the problem. She was ecstatic. Only to come out of anesthesia and be told by the doctor that he is sorry but children would not be an option.”
They then stated how things went from bad to worse after they went to meet their sister. The user wrote, “As you can imagine, she felt devasted by this news. Yesterday I went to visit her to try to lift her spirits. I told her how incredibly sorry I was. But then I also added that being infertile may not be all that bad. Raising kids isn't all sunshine and roses. There is the added stress, expenses, sleep deprivation, and time commitment.”
“I told her to look at all the unhappy couples with kids, and that at least she and her husband would enjoy some extra freedom. After these comments, my sister's sadness turned into anger. She started shouting at me and told me to leave her house. She had also informed our mother because she called me later to tell me that my comments were disgusting and I should feel ashamed of myself. I feel like me trying to help my sister only made the situation worse,” the user added.
‘You nailed the definition of invalidation’
Just like the Redditor's sister, people in the comments section also called them out. A user said, “I wish there was a mic drop emoji, because that’s all that needs to be said. I dealt with infertility for years, and got those type of ‘helpful’ comments from people. IT DOES NOT HELP.” Another user wrote, “Beautifully said! As someone who struggled with infertility then several losses before my rainbow baby, this whole post pissed me off.”
A third one commented, “YTA Imagine one morning you are blind. You are devastated, and your sister comes to comfort you: ‘Cheer up, Op. Maybe it is not so bad. Not everything in the world is pretty, and at least you do not have to see the misery.’ Would that cheer you up??” “Ummm did you read a special textbook on what NOT to say to someone mourning the loss your sister is facing? Because that’s bad. Those are all the wrong things to say. YTA,” the fourth one stated and a fifth one added, "I plan on sharing your post with others who do this; you nailed the definition of invalidation on the head!"
This article contains remarks made on the internet by individual people and organizations. MEAWW cannot confirm them independently and does not support claims or opinions being made online.