Age of the 'Coronials': Lockdown lovefest sparks condom shortage that could see birth of pandemic generation
The nation-wide lockdown and stay-at-home orders imposed in countries severely affected by coronavirus have forced everyone to stay indoors with their families and partners. This has promoted various debates online about the impending fate of humanity. Baby boom tweets and memes have flooded social media with most asserting that the quarantine will contribute to the population and we will know the truth only once it has been lifted. The jokes going around are that the end of quarantine will mark a new generation of humans, the 'Coronials' who on maturing will be dubbed the 'quaranteens'.
But what's even more laughable is the fact that the world is now running out of condoms. While in isolation with their partners, people will tend to engage in baby-making activities and with the shortage in rubbers, it will either lead to abstinence and sexual frustration or a baby-boom. There's no in-between.
On March 31, Reuters reported that the world's biggest condoms manufacturer, Malaysia-based Karex Bhd shut down three of its factories to comply with the lockdown orders imposed by the government to contain the spread of COVID-19. They had only reopened their factories on March 27, after a week of closure. Now the company responsible for producing one out of every five condoms in the world has warned of a global shortage of the popular birth control option.
Supply has fallen by roughly 50%, while the existing stockpile is set to last for only two more months. The company says that the world is short by at least 100 million condoms which were normally sold under the brand Durex or disseminated through the United Nations Population Fund and the UK's National Health Services (NHS).
Karex Bhd produces 5 billion condoms annually and exports them to over 140 countries. This has become a challenge for the company as the lockdown has axed exportation, with various governments closing borders with airlines canceling flights.
The government exempted the company as a critical industry and permitted it to continue production but under the condition that it uses only half its workforce. Goh Miah Kiat, group chief executive officer at Karex has said the demand for condoms is rising by double digits and warns that they might become expensive in the upcoming weeks
Social media especially is reeling with amusement at the news. Now everyone's locked up amid a shortage in condom supply, you know what's about to happen.
In a hilarious tweet, this user basically described the ultimate c**k-blockers in her life, now that she's home-bound. She is willing to extend the same kind of help to anyone that wants to refrain from unprotective sex: "Read that there's likely to be a condom shortage soon, so if anyone needs contraception I'm happy to send my 3-year-old over to spill at least 2 cups of milk on your floor daily & watch countless episodes of Fireman Sam whilst demanding but not eating endless cheese sandwiches."
"This is all part of the larger coronavirus plot where all the old people killed off and a condom shortage replenishes the supply of new serfs," said a user, perhaps daring to say out loud what most of us may have only been thinking.
To everyone that's been preaching the 'Stay safe' rule, it now has a new context: "National shortage of condoms right now. Stay safe doesn't just mean wash your hands".
"I bet that Trump is responsible for the condom shortage in the United States since he’s currently f**king us all right now", another quips.