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Sordid saga of Armie Hammer's sexual kinks fails to tackle fact that the actor dismantled the concept of consent

While most of the scandalised world took to social media to air their disapproval of this cannibalistic kink including others that involve BDSM, rope tying and sadism, deeming them "fantasies", it takes away from the core of the matter, which is consent. 

After Armie Hammer's DMs were leaked on social media earlier this year, the 'Call Me By Your Name' actor scandalised everyone with chats that alleged disturbing fantasies. From cannibalism to rape, Hammer's DMs with young women over the course of four years since 2016 revealed a side of the actor that took many by surprise. The abuse allegations became more serious in light of his ex-girlfriends coming out and revealing their ordeal over the course of their relationship with Hammer. In wake of the social media controversy, Hammer also stepped away from his upcoming two projects including 'Shotgun Wedding' and 'The Offer'. 

Former girlfriends Courtney Vucekovich and Paige Lorenze revealed Hammer's allegedly abusive, cannibalistic interests. Vucekovich reportedly alleged that during their relationship in 2020, Hammer was emotionally manipulative and abusive, described wanting to eat her flesh, and would suck or lick her wounds if she had "a little cut on [her] hand". The short-lived relationship left her with post-traumatic stress disorder and in therapy. Lorenze claimed that Hammer branded her by carving the letter "A" near her vagina, later bragging about it to her friends and was "serious" in a suggestion that she have her lower ribs surgically removed so that he could eat them. 

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And while many took to social media to air their disapproval of the cannibalistic kink including others that involve BDSM, rope tying and sadism, deeming them "fantasies", it takes away from the core of the matter, which is consent. 

An attorney for Hammer has told reporters that assertions against his client are “patently untrue", stating that any interactions with any sexual partners of his were “completely consensual in that they were fully discussed, agreed upon, and mutually participatory". 

At the core of the Armie Hammer's sexual allegations controversy is consent. The leaked social media message by House of Effie, a first in a long line of victims, aren't verified as of yet and the actor and his lawyers continue to dismiss the allegations calling them "bullshit".  

The missing safeword

In several of the screenshots of the leaked messages, Hammer basically says that he wants to be a part of a BDSM relationship without a safeword, a safety net. 

In case you missed it, this tweet from a social media user puts it quite succinctly. "Ugh Armie Hammer. He originally started trending awhile back due to some very creepy sexts being leaked and it's a whole thing. Even if you put cannibalism kink aside, he wants to be a dom without the consent, boundaries, and safety essentially."

In an almost hour-long video, YouTuber Evie Lupine, a "peer educator on all things related to BDSM, kink and alternative lifestyles" with 167,000 subscribers to her channel, explains in length how Hammer completely overrides consent. Showing a screengrab of him sending the message, "safe words ruin the moment", she brings to attention the fact that Hammer wanted complete control over the situation regardless of his partner's choice. In addition to that, she explains that the recipients of Hammer's messages might not truly be consenting to this type of conversation as there are only a few to none responses to him.  

She also traces back to Armie's comments about controlling, dominating and rope-tying kinks to a Playboy interview dated 2016, where the actor says that he respects his then-wife too much to see through dominating and rape fantasies with her indicating that it hardly matters for him to think twice if he were not involved in the act with his wife. 

Vucekovich, who dated Hammer from June to October 2020, said that Hammer would drink and do drugs “all the time", which made her feel unsafe with him. Elaborating on his manipulative behaviour, she said, "He quickly grooms you in the relationship,” she added. “He kind of captivates you and while being charming, he’s grooming you for these things that are darker and heavier and consuming. When I say consuming, I mean mentally, physically, emotionally, financially, just everything."

She also said that he did “some things” with her that she “wasn’t comfortable with", and that he convinced her that “these things were OK” although those were “some dangerous situations", aggravated by his heavy drinking.

Taking rape lightly 

Another one of Hammer's notable messages is him wanting to rape his partner. Bordering abuse, when Hammer equates his dominating sexual tendencies to rape and abuse, it shows a casual approach to the crime. In other alleged texts leaked online, Hammer talks about his BDSM, anal sex and rape fantasies. "Raping you on your floor with a knife against you," he allegedly wrote before adding that he felt like a "god" watching the victim "crying and screaming".

"Any man who is fantasizing about rape, crushing a [woman's] body, eating them, cutting them, is a danger to all women,” Lorenze said. “Consent is much more complicated than we would like to believe. Emotionally and psychologically, you can be as just as traumatized by consensual sex as anything else. It is also excruciating to face what someone did to you. Especially if you feel like you had a hand in it by 'consenting'.” 

Grooming young women

As Vucekovich mentioned, Hammer quickly grooms one in the relationship taking over pretty much every aspect of your life. According to Ann Craft Trust, a national charity which exists to minimise the risk of abuse of disabled children and adults at risk, "The abuser picks their target, build up trust, and the actual abuse, which is usually sexual or financial, doesn’t come until much later."

It must be noted that many of Hammer's victims are young women. Lorenze herself was 19 and he was 34 when they started their relationship cutting 'A' into her skin and then bragging about it to his friends. 

This Twitter thread shares the various screenshots shared by victims of the actor, but one particularly stands out as she recounts disturbing details about their exchange. The young woman claims that he "likes woman like me that haven't been used" and added that he was asking her to make a trip to LA, for "fun stuff" that he would pay for but she would have to sign an NDA. In these same messages, after she said no, he started to ghost her and "a few days later he wants to f**k my b**t and I'm a f*****ng tw** for acting hard to get, and then he say he'll f**k the shit out of my brain".