Woman takes to the internet to ask other mothers if she should cover up her son's affair or reveal it to his wife
She spoke about how her 26-year-old son, who has a two-year-old daughter with his wife of six months, has stopped talking to her because of the impossible choice
A distressed mother went online to ask other mothers advice after her son asked her to lie to his wife about his affair. The unnamed mother posted about the dilemma on Mumsnet. She spoke about how her 26-year-old son, who has a two-year-old daughter with his wife of six months, has stopped talking to her. The woman's son refuses to answer her calls now and has accused her of "judging him" and also claimed that she should be on "his side".
The grandmother has asked for help from the parenting network to see if she made the right decision in not covering for him and received an overwhelming response.
To start the thread of messages, that was titled "Am I being unreasonable to not cover for my cheating son?", she wrote: "I really need help on this one! My 26-year-old son has been married for six months only, he already has a two-year-old dear daughter, and has been in a relationship with his dear wife since they were teens."
She continued: "He asked me about three days ago if I could tell his wife that he will be spending the weekend with me ( I live two hours away). I asked him why. He refused to tell me. I insisted and he confessed that he is seeing another woman."
The shocked woman then admitted: "I can't believe it. I love my daughter-in-law. Now he's mad and won't answer my calls and texted me 'you're my mum you should be on my side and not judging me'. Am I being unreasonable?" Forum users all seemed to agree with one another and slammed her "childish" son for putting his distraught mother in this position.
One mother confirmed that the woman had made the right choice and that her duty was to her granddaughter.
The lady added: "Definitely do not cover for him. You may be his mum but you have a duty to your grandchild and their mother which overrides his desire to use you as an alibi!" Another user questioned how immature the son was and said: "On his side? He sounds about 12, not 26! I couldn’t cover for that type of behavior."
One of the users spoke about how severe the lie was and argued: "You're not lying to his teacher because he forgot his homework — he's asking you to be party to him cheating on your DIL (daughter-in-law), putting her sexual health at risk, ultimately breaking her heart and throwing your grandchild's world upside down!"
Other users on the site asked the mother to give her son an ultimatum to confess to his wife of the affair or threaten him that she would tell her daughter-in-law herself. One user wrote: "He’s throwing a tantrum because deep down he knows he’s in the wrong. He needs to tell his wife."
Another user called him a coward and said: "I would let him get on with and sulk. Not a chance would I be calling him and texting him. If he no longer wants to be in a relationship then he needs to put his big boy pants on and break up with her. Not cheat on her like a coward."
Yet another user said that her priority should be the toddler and said: "I would not help him cheat. I would tell him I expect him to either start behaving or offer his wife a divorce and generous financial support. Your support should go to your grandchild and the parent or parents who are actually working to raise that child properly, even if that means supporting your Dil (daughter-in-law) because your son is a jerk."
Others then started putting themselves in the position of the daughter-in-law and suggested that the relationship between the woman and her son's wife could be damaged if she didn't tell her. One user said: "Now that you know you must tell your dil (daughter-in-law) as she will find out soon enough and it will end your relationship with her and your gc (grandchild) if she got wind you knew about his cheating and didn't tell her."
Another user said: "Horrible position to be in but your son has to own up to her or you will tell her yourself." A user even urged her to take her daughter-in-law's side by writing: "Either way you are going to lose out. Best keep in with your dil and your gc if you want to be in your gc's life."
Another argued: "If I found out my MIL (mother-in-law) had done that for my DH (darling husband) she would be lucky if she ever caught so much of a glimpse of our DC (darling child) ever again."