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Nicolette Popa: Woman comes out as lesbian, stays with husband to co-parent kids

'I think I knew I was gay growing up, [but] here in America it can be very conservative,' Nicolette said in an interview
Nicolette and Ryan got married in 2014 (Nicolette Popa/Instagram)
Nicolette and Ryan got married in 2014 (Nicolette Popa/Instagram)

A North Carolina woman has revealed that she is still married to her husband despite coming out as a lesbian two years ago. Nicolette, 26, who married her childhood sweetheart, Ryan, 27, in 2014 says that she made the revelation when they were confined to the house and were spending more time together in Japan during the lockdown.

Nicolette claimed that she always knew she was a lesbian but she kept her sexuality a secret from her husband until the summer of 2020. Instead of getting embroiled in a hostile split, Ryan suggested Nicolette stay with him to co-parent their two children Jace, 5, and Clay, 4 and the brunette has agreed to this unconventional arrangement. 


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"We're still married and we still live together in our house with our kids," Nicolette told in a recent interview. "For right now, what we do works. We’re trying to figure out our careers and trying to make sure that our kids have the best outcome," she told South West News Service. "It’s about making sure the kids are happy, making sure they know they’re loved and for them to have both parents around as much as possible."

Nicolette describes her husband, Ryan as her "soulmate," despite the fact that she is sexually attracted to women. She said, "We got married when I was 19 and he was 20. We’ve been together basically through all of our 20s, and he’s that person I’ve been around constantly." She added, "I feel like he’ll always be my soulmate, just from a different perspective. We know how to get under each other’s skin but we also know how to be each other’s biggest supporters."

Nicolette who currently works as a delivery driver has recently found fame on TikTok for documenting her unusual marriage. Many on TikTok have expressed their support for the pair while some have accused Nicolette of "wasting" Ryan’s time. One user shared her own experience of coming out to her husband on Nicolette's TikTok post, "I went through this three years ago. He has faithfully stuck by my side through everything. I’m thankful for a best friend like him." Another user condemned Nicolette saying, "I would never forgive someone who wasted my time like that." 

However, the supportive husband told SWNS that he is happy with the current situation and wasn’t surprised that his wife was a lesbian. Ryan said, "It wasn’t a shock when Nicolette came out. I started to have suspicions but I wasn’t going to ask — I was going to wait for her to tell me herself." He added, "My family were really supportive, and they still are." "We still go on family holidays with them, we all get along really well."

Nicolette talking about her being lesbian said, "I think I knew I was gay growing up, [but] here in America it can be very conservative." "My family are definitely conservative, we’re from the midwest … We grew up hunting and fishing and all that stuff, Ryan’s family are pretty religious too." She further said, "It wasn’t really a thing to be gay when I was growing up. But as I got older, it just felt like I had this weight on my chest. I knew that there was something that I needed to figure out."