Wife almost convinced by husband to adopt child, until she finds out the shocking truth
Finding out that your partner has cheated on you is never easy. So many emotions run through the mind that one can hardly think straight. This was exactly the case with a Reddit user who made the discovery in the most shocking manner. And now finds herself at crossroads as she thinks that none of her family is by her side.
Reddit user u/depressed-wife took to the site on June 23, 2021, making an elaborate post about how she discovered her husband's infidelity, the affair and a secret child that he was trying to get her to adopt. Given her tricky situation, the Reddit user took to the site to share her ordeal and get some advice on how to go ahead.
What really happened?
As per the Reddit post shared by u/depressed-wife, the 28-year-old woman begins the story by sharing just how much she wanted to have children, but it wasn't happening. "We've always wanted to have a big family with lots of kids. The problem was that I just could not get pregnant no matter how many positions or times we've tried," she wrote, adding that last year, she discovered she was "infertile and will not have children 'naturally'" — it was time to look for alternatives.
The couple, that had been married for a little over 5 years, then decided to try for IVF. And while the wife got to "cutting corners and scarping every last dollar I have for an IVF", her husband, she says soon started getting "iffy". "He kept emphasizing adoption and discouraging the IVF and I definitely considered it but I want to have a kid of my own blood first before I adopt another child," she wrote.
Only to make the shocking discovery. When the wife was chatting with her mother-in-law and sister-in-law, who she wrote is named Jean about the money for the "multiple rounds of IVF just in case the first one doesn't work", she mentioned that should the IVF not work, she will adopt a child. That's when "Jean asked if I was really on board with adopting my husband's illegitimate child". And all hell broke loose.
The Redditor's mind started racing. "My heart started beating really fast and I was so confused when my mother-in-law chimed in that I was truly a kind child for forgiving my husband's affair and even taking in their kid."
"I made an excuse and hung up the phone when my mind was racing. I tried to convince myself that Jean and mother were playing jokes on me so I went upstairs to ask my husband for his side of things." When she confronted the husband, he came clean. "He paled rather fast and asked me where I heard it from. I told him Jean and mother told me and that's when he decided it would be good to tell me what he was thinking." Apparently, he has been "hooking up with one of his old flames and she got pregnant".
And then not only did the husband ask for forgiveness but also suggested adopting the child. "He told me that he loved me but he didn't want to go through extra stress to have a child so maybe I could forgive them and adopt their kid. Maybe even create a bond with it."
The Redditor adds that she was "completely heartbroken by his audacity". "He dropped two bombs on me that day and expected me just to take it like that? I more or less ran out of the house to my parents' house because I really needed some comfort." When she got there, she was taken back by their response to the situation as well. "while the cheating was wrong, I should step up and become a mother to this kid because they know how much I wanted a kid and how great of a mother I'll be," she wrote.
"I can't stop crying because it seems that no one is on my side. I know I should probably try to get a divorce but my mind is all over the place. My heart hurts so bad that I can't even get out of bed," she wrote, finally concluding, "Can anyone help me? Is there any advice I could get in this?"
'Run for the hills'
Fellow Redditors shared their thoughts, and most of the comments advised her to leave her husband and not adopt the child. "Damn. This has more tragedy and future turmoil than a Shakespeare tragedy. You will forfeit your entire future if you say yes. I'm being realistic. The idea is shear madness EVEN if she relinquishes all parental rights. The fact that he could do this to you, someone he loves? That is not in the realm of love as I define it. Especially given the fact that you want to get pregnant? I'd cut my loses and divorce him," one user wrote.
More users started painting a rather grim picture of the future. "If you stay, your future is: 1. to be tarred as the evil stepmother in the future when kiddo asks why his actual mom isn't in the picture, Or 2. to accept an open marriage where your husband will impregnate various old flames and leave you to raise their children. Leave ASAP. Run for the hills," one advised.
Another user wrote along similar lines, "That’s bats**t. Divorce him. Like, yesterday. And get yourself into some therapy ASAP so you can talk to someone and get some god damn support from a non-lunatic. I hope so much things work out for you, hang in there sis. 🧡"
There is no doubt the husband is the one responsible for all the pain. "His plan was never to tell you, right? He was going to get you to agree to adoption, then casually drop in 'Oh, I know someone with a child she wants adopted out'. You'd then raise the child and he'd be home free. I can't believe his audacity and casual cruelty - you should seriously re-consider your options," one pointed out.
"Don’t let them convince you to raise his affair child. You can do so much better than your husband," another added.