Why 'warrior' Trump was hell-bent on impressing dad Fred Sr despite being constantly abused by him as a child
'So his father would love him, so his father would approve of him, and so the abuse would stop,' says author Abigail R. Esman
President Donald Trump's niece, Mary Trump's book 'Too Much and Never Enough: How My Family Created the World's Most Dangerous Man' describes the POTUS as a ''narcissist" who is still seeking his late father's "favor" - the same father who abused him in his childhood and transformed him into a "killer." So the question is, why was Trump always hell-bent on gaining his father's approval despite being abused by the man?
Fred Trump "perverted his son's perception of the world and damaged his ability to live in it," Mary wrote in the book, adding that "every one of Donald's transgressions became an audition for his father's favor, as if he were saying, 'See, dad, I'm the tough one. I'm the killer.'''
Building on Mary's words, award-winning journalist and essayist Abigail R. Esman, whose upcoming book is called 'Rage: Narcissism, Patriarchy, and the Culture of Terrorism', told MEA WorldWide (MEAWW) that the president "had the model of an emotionally distant, rageful father as his example of what the ideal man should be. To be a good man, a perfect man, for little Donald, meant to be more like his father (domineering, abusive, emotionally distant), and be so perfect his father would never be angry at him again. And only then would he be a real man."
As to why Trump has always sought to appease his father despite almost no love or affection from him, Esman explained, ''For exactly that reason: so his father would love him, so his father would approve of him, and so the abuse would stop. It’s that way for every child, right? You want to be good, you want your mommy and daddy to love you. And of course, you want their praise, not their punishment.''
She further elaborated on Trump's constant need to establish himself as a ''masculine'' man and a ''warrior'' who can do no wrong. ''As long as he is the more powerful, violent, angry man in the room, he is the most masculine, and being a man, a masculine man, a 'warrior,' as Trump himself often says, is his ideal. So to compensate for having made an embarrassing mistake, he will just rage harder, play the warrior more grandiosely. The more he feels threatened, shamed, the more he feels he is wrong, the more ragefully he will storm,'' she said.
Trump is so afraid of being reminded of his own imperfections -- a psyche undoubtedly stemming from his childhood trauma -- that he is incapable of admitting his own guilt under any circumstances, preferring people surrounding him accountable for his failures.
''Most people, when faced with failure to get something right, acknowledge they made a mistake and try again. Someone like Trump will never do that. He will insist that much harder that he was right, and fire his fury at everyone else – partly because they serve as an unbearable reminder of his own imperfections and shame; partly because it deflects attention from his own perceived weaknesses; and partly because blaming others, especially in fits of rage, is what makes him feel powerful,'' Esman noted.
She also agreed with Mary in declaring that Trump's narcissistic psyche will only 'get worse.' ''Pathological narcissists almost never – maybe never – 'get better.' Since they are perfect, they think there’s nothing to change, and if everything is everyone else’s fault, it’s everyone else who has to change... I do know from my research and my experience living with pathological narcissists that instead of changing, as she also said, they get worse,'' she concluded.