Who raped Lady Gaga? Music producer got her pregnant at 19, left her outside parents' house when she got sick
'I had a total psychotic break, and for a couple years, I was not the same girl," Gaga recounted in an episode of 'The Me You Can't See'
Pop legend Lady Gaga has revealed some of the most painful experiences from her life, recounting how she was sexually abused and left pregnant when she was just 19. Gaga aka Stefani Germanotta spoke of her life before being famous in an episode of 'The Me You Can't See' - a documentary series jointly made by Prince Harry and Oprah Winfrey and which intends to remove the deep-rooted stigma around mental health and start a dialogue.
Gaga recounted episodes of long-lasting trauma, the aftermath of the horrific assault, and talked about the man who left her at the doorsteps of her parents' house after locking her up for months. In the series, a teary-eyed Gaga recalled how she was asked to remove her clothes failing which her music "will be burned".
Who assaulted Lady Gaga?
While recounting the harrowing incidents, Gaga talked about an unnamed music producer who kept her locked in the studio for months and assaulted her sexually. She said, "I was 19 years old, and I was working in the business, and a producer said to me, 'Take your clothes off.'" She further added, "And I said no. And I left, and they told me they were going to burn all my music. And they didn't stop. They didn't stop asking me, and then I just froze and I just ... I don't even remember."
She also talked about why she chose not to name the assaulter, admitting, "I understand this #Metoo movement, I understand that some others feel really comfortable with this, and I do not, I do not ever want to face that person again. This system is so abusive, it's so dangerous," the 'Applause' crooner said.
Alleged rapist locked up pregnant singer and later left her in front of parents' house
Speaking further on the aftermath that a deeply traumatic episode of abuse causes, the Grammy-winning singer shared, "First, I felt full-on pain, then I went numb. Then I was sick for weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks after." She recalled, "And I realized it was the same pain I felt when the person who raped me dropped me off pregnant on the corner, at my parents' house, because I was vomiting, and sick. Because I'd been being abused, I was locked away in a studio for months."
"The way that I feel when I feel pain is how I felt after I was raped," she added. "I've had so many MRIs and scans. They don't find nothing, but your body remembers."
The trauma made her go through a psychotic episode where she was anybody but herself, 'A Star is Born' actress said. She explained, "I had a total psychotic break, and for a couple years, I was not the same girl." As a result, she had to cancel a number of her concert dates in Joanne World tour.
The 35-year-old 'Shallow' singer acknowledged the kind of impulses that a traumatic incident cause. She said, "You know why it's not good to cut? You know why it's not good to throw yourself against the wall? You know why it's not good to self-harm? Because it makes you feel worse. You think you're going to feel better because you're showing somebody, 'Hey, look, I'm in pain.' It doesn't help. I always tell people 'Tell somebody, don't show somebody.'"
On speaking of recovery, Gaga admits, "Even if I have six brilliant months, all it takes is getting triggered once to feel bad. And when I say feel bad, I mean want to cut, think about dying, wondering if I'm ever gonna do it."
To seek help in any case of assault or rape, reach out to the numbers mentioned below.
US - National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK
UK - The Samaritans (24-hour hotline): 116 123