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Amy Poehler's lookalike Britney Simmons trolled for 'squirting vaginal fluids' at cops in Miami strip club

A user said, 'I REALLY hope this goes to trial'
PUBLISHED APR 7, 2021
Twitter followers began writing potential SNL scripts for Amy Poehler as Britney Simmons is her lookalike (Getty Images, world news daily report)
Twitter followers began writing potential SNL scripts for Amy Poehler as Britney Simmons is her lookalike (Getty Images, world news daily report)

Trust the internet to latch on to a joke and run with it. Britney Simmons, a 24-year-old adult performer, was allegedly arrested on account of assaulting five police officers after an altercation broke out between her and several clients.

Simmons, who was reportedly intoxicated, attempted to resist the arrest by allegedly ejecting vagina fluids towards the officer. As reported by World News Daily Report, this left two officers injured and three temporarily blinded.

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As reported in the article, Officer Miguel Aguera, the spokesman for the Miami Police Department informed reporters that all five of the officers have tested positive for a range of sexually transmitted diseases following the attack, such as chlamydia, gonorrhea, and herpes on account of being exposed to Simmons' vaginal fluids.

"Knowing full well that she was exposing the police officers to a number of sexually transmitted diseases and potentially HIV as well, it is considered that she used her vagina with lethal force against the officers” explained Aguera.

Alan Smith, Simmons' attorney argued that it was an act of self-defense and that she retaliated in “appropriate boundaries of her working skills and abilities.”

While the credibility of the report hasn't been confirmed, seeing that a few Websites have dated the story back to 2019, it didn't stop Twitter from discussing the same. And apparently, there's is one thing that all netizens agreed upon — Simmons allegedly looks like SNL and Parks and Recreation star, Amy Poehler.

"This isn't even Amy Poehler's wildest role and it's certainly not close to her dirtiest joke." joked a user. "What the hell is wrong with Florida? Florida man, GQP politicians, and now Florida Amy Poehler doppelganger stripper spritzing cops with ladylube." asked another. "Amy Poehler is trending because F'ing idiots still pretend worldnewsdailyreport isn't a fake news site masquerading as "satire." Pointed a fan, questioning the website's credibility.



 



 



 

Others began writing potential SNL scripts for the comedian. "That's great, even though Amy Poehler isn't part of SNL anymore, maybe they can do a skit on this occasion, with Amy starring as this stripper." noted a user.

"I REALLY hope this goes to trial "Ok, your honor. I was standing by the door just minding my business drinking my jack and coke when I was SPLASHED. That's right your honor, SPLASHED I assume this will be a skit on SNL and that Amy Poehler will welcome the resemblance ?" joked another.

"Its horrible this woman was arrested and shouldn’t be put though our “justice” system, but God, I hope this gets to trial. I want “Your honor, I feared for my life from a WAP” to be on the court record and the arresting claim to shame for the rest of his life." added another.



 



 



 

While Poehler herself stays away from social media, we can only wonder what she'd make of this absolutely bizarre news.

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