Monica Lewinsky, who had a huge crush on Clinton, wore the same sage green suit twice hoping he would notice her
Lewinsky said that she decided to divulge the details of her relationship with Bill Clinton because of the 'grief' she was carrying
Monica Lewinsky, in her latest A&E docuseries 'The Clinton Affair', revealed the exact moment when she was first taken to former President Bill Clinton as a White House intern and was left "starry-eyed".
The six-part documentary 'The Clinton Affair' premieres on November 18 at 9 pm on A&E and Meaww was given early access to the riveting show.
"I was struck in a way that he had this ability to hold everybody that was there — not just young women, not just older women — but young men, older men, gay, straight, everybody is sort of starry-eyed in his presence... I kind of have to laugh at my younger self, but that is when my crush started," Lewinsky revealed.
Lewinsky, who has largely been reticent about her affair with the former president, said that she decided to divulge the details of her relationship with Bill Clinton because of the "grief" she was carrying.
Lewinsky, in the docuseries, reflects back on her thoughts and feelings during her intimate moments spent with Bill Clinton: "I don't talk about this very often, and I still feel uncomfortable talking about it because I think it's one of those things where it's not as if it didn't register with me that he was the president. Obviously, it did," she said in the documentary.
"But I think in one way, the moment we were actually in the back office for the first time the truth is that I think it meant more to me that someone who other people desired, desired me. However wrong it was, however misguided, for who I was in that very moment, at 22 years old, that is how it felt," Lewinsky, now 45 years old, recalled.
The former White House intern also talked about the first two times Bill Clinton noticed her and how the third time was a very deliberate decision on her part as she wore a sage green suit to draw the president's attention.
"When the opportunity arose to attend a departure ceremony or some of the other events — I did," she said. "The first time he sort of seemed on autopilot so my crush kind of waned a bit. The second time was different... He, you know, paid a lot of attention to me. He spent time sort of standing there and holding my hand a little longer than he should have and gave what others have described as 'the full Bill Clinton'... It feels as if you're the only person standing there."
"The next day we had a surprise party for Bill on the South Lawn that the staff was having," she continued. "I did this really silly thing — I ran home at lunchtime and put on the same sage green suit I was wearing the day before when he paid attention to me. I thought maybe he will notice me again. And notice me he did," Lewinsky said in the documentary.
Lewinsky's sexual encounter with Clinton occurred when she was a 22-year-old intern at the White House in November of 1995. Clinton was 49 years of age at the time. The news of the duo's affair, however, broke in January 1998, which sparked federal investigations and an onslaught of media attention.