Nutritionist commits suicide after she posts heartbreaking note on her website saying she was 'tired of feeling tired'
27-year-old Tara Condell was found dead by the authorities at her apartment on West 10th Street on Wednesday afternoon.
A successful young Manhattan nutritionist who had previously been quoted in multiple articles about celebrity diets and detox fads took her own life this past week, writing in her heartbreaking suicide note that she was just "plain old-fashioned tired of feeling tired."
According to the New York Post, 27-year-old Tara Condell, a dietician who worked at Top Balance Nutrition in Midtown Manhattan, was found dead with a cloth around her neck by officers at around 4:30 p.m. on Wednesday, January 30, inside the bedroom of her home on West 10th Street.
The suicide was discovered after the authorities were asked to perform a welfare check at her apartment by her co-workers who had grown concerned over the fact that she had not turned up to work, and had also posted a concerning letter on her personal website. A search of her apartment revealed another suicide note, though officials have not made the contents of the note public yet.
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In the lengthy post she made on her website titled 'I hate the word 'bye,' but see you later maybe?' Condell explained her reasoning behind why she took the drastic step of committing suicide, explaining it was something she had contemplated since she was 17 and had now "accepted hope is nothing but delayed disappointment."
Having been inspired to become a nutritionist "after being the sole caretaker of a critically ill parent and seeing how nutrition interactions in the body play a huge role in health," the 27-year-old earned her Bachelor's degree in dietetics from San Fransisco State University and then a Master's degree in clinical nutrition from New York University.
She was very successful in the field and acknowledged her good fortune in the post, but revealed she felt detached from the world. "I realize I am undeserving of thinking this way because I truly have a great life on paper," she wrote. "I’m fortunate to eat meals most only imagine. I often travel freely without restriction. I live alone in the second greatest American city (San Francisco, you’ll always have my heart)."
She continued, "However, all these facets seem trivial to me. It’s the ultimate first world problem, I get it. I often felt detached while in a room full of my favorite people; I also felt absolutely nothing during what should have been the happiest and darkest times in my life. No single conversation or situation has led me to make this decision, so at what point do you metaphorically pull the trigger?"
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Condell, whose Instagram page is peppered with pictures of her dining out in numerous restaurants, went on to describe how she would miss the food scene in the city, including Sichuan ma la, a "perfect" plate of carbonara, "real true authentic" street tacos, Cal-Italian cuisine, Hunan Bistro’s fried rice, and many more.
The 27-year-old also wrote about missing the New York Times' crossword puzzle, unexpected hugs, smoking cigarettes, the Golden Gate Bridge at sunset, "that first sip of iced cold brew in sticky August, Jeopardy, saying I love you, late night junk food binges, and "especially the no-destination-in-sight long walks."
She asked friends and family for "no GoFundMes, no funeral, no tributes, no doing-too-much please" and instead, requested them to "have one delicious meal in my honor and let me go, no exceptions."
The nutritionist ended with a tearjerking goodbye to her mother, writing, "It’s selfishly time for me to be happy and I know you can get down with that. Please try to remember me as a whole human you shared memories with and not just my final act. This is not your fault. It’s not exactly easy for me either, I’m here for you. I love you. I always have and I always will, I promise. Shikata ga’nai. I’m coming home, Dad. Make some room up on that cloud and turn the Motown up. I’m really sorry mama."
Maria Bella, the founder of Top Balance Nutrition, paid tribute to Condell on behalf of the entire team, saying, "Tara was a talented dietitian loved by all of her patients and coworkers. But beyond that, she was a true friend who always extended her kindness to those around her."