Mothers with three children are more stressed than those with less or even more offsprings, says survey
Mothers with three kids are more stressed than those with less or, surprisngly, more kids, according to a survey conducted by Today.
According to the 2013 study about the stresses of raising kids, Today concluded after surveying 7,164 moms in the United States that those with three kids are more stressed out than moms of one, two, four, or more children.
Speaking to Today, Dr. Janet Taylor, a psychiatrist in New York, explained why mothers tend to relax after they give birth to their fourth offspring. “There’s just not enough space in your head for perfectionism when you get to four or more kids," she said. “The more children you have, the more confident you become in your parenting abilities,” Taylor continued. “You have to let go … and then you’re just thankful when they all get to school on time.”
Further expounding her analysis, Taylor claimed that many women find it very hard to say no to their kids' demands.
“You have to be able to say no to your kids, to your spouse, to your friends sometimes. Instead of making the perfect lunch for your kids, go for a walk by yourself. Even if it’s just 10 minutes, take some deep breaths and focus on what you need.”
Jill Smokler, “Scary Mommy” creator and author of “Motherhood Comes Naturally (And Other Vicious Lies)", told Today in 2013 that it was when she welcomed her third child that the stress increased exponentially. The mother-of-three agreed that it’s the most stressful number. “Going from one to two was an easy, breezy transition,” Smokler recalled. “Two to three, everything was turned upside down.”
“I did not feel like I had it together," she said, "Just crossing the street and not being able to physically hold all their hands I found tremendously stressful.”
“You always hear about the mommy wars, but I feel like we’re judging ourselves more harshly than anyone else," Smokler added.
Dr. Taylor said: “Moms are acutely aware of the fact they do not have the time to take care of their own needs. Forget reading a book, exercising or fun hobbies: Some moms barely have time to shower."
“Before you’re a mom, you take that for granted,” added Taylor. “When you are a mom you just don’t have the time.”
Mothers admitted that their stress level was at eight and a half on a scale of one to 10 on an average, according to the survey. Forty six percent of the responders said that more than their children, it was their partners who stressed them out. About 60 percent stressed more about their girls than their boys while 60 percent said they were stressed most about running out of hours in a day, People reports.