From Aaliyah to sex abuse allegations: So what does R Kelly "admit to" in his new 19-minute single 'I Admit'?
For years, R Kelly refused to answer questions about his alleged sexual misconduct. Now, the rapper has released a 19-minute track 'I Admit' do the talking. The track, posted on the R&B star's SoundCloud page on Monday, met with mixed reactions. R Kelly was bashed by many for not admitting his guilt after being accused of pedophilia and sex cult.
The 51-year-old rapper has long been in the public eye. After the rapper married late singer Aaliyah in 1994, there was public outrage because Aaliyah was just 15. In 1996, he was sued for causing emotional distress to his 15-year-old girlfriend, and that was only the beginning of a series of sexual allegations against the rapper. It's now established that, in Hip Hop, one can hardly separate the art from the artist.
In 2017, Buzzfeed published a long and detailed report accusing the 'I'm a Flirt' rapper of trapping six women in a "sex cult". In 2018, streaming services including Spotify, Apple Music, and Pandora removed the artist from their playlist after allegations of sexual assault emerged.
The 19-minute track addresses a bevy of controversies the rapper has been surrounded with. In the song, the rapper admits "sins" such as not going to church, his failure of not being able to read a teleprompter out in the Grammys, but fails to address the real allegation of 'grooming sex slaves.'
Opening the song with "I admit I done made some mistakes," R Kelly raises one's hopes about what's to follow. He then admits to have helped people who later turned "fake". The song then turns to his dyslexia and how he dropped out of school which wasn't "cool".
Kelly admits he had sex with fans and also slept with his girlfriend's best friend:
"I done fucked with a couple of fans"
"But one night at the Ritz, did some shit I shouldn't have did/ Went and fucked my nigga's bitch I admit, I admit that I did (I did it) I fucked my girlfriend's best friend/ I admit, I admit, I'm a freak"
The 'I Believe I Can Fly' rapper talks about his relationships but denies allegations of him being a pedophile:
"Used to go to strip clubs every week"
"I admit I fuck with all the ladies, that's both older and young ladies (ladies, yeah)/ But tell me how they call it pedophile because that shit is crazy"
He addresses the sex cult allegation and raps in depth about his sexual affairs:
"What's the definition of a cult?/ Whats the definition of a sex slave?/ Go to the dictionary, look it up/ Let me know, I'll be here waiting/ Now I admit that I got some girls that love me to pull they hair/ Now I admit that they love me to talk dirty when I pull they hair/ Some like me to spank 'em/ Some like to give brain and/ What some of these girls want, is too much for the radio station"
"I admit I am not perfect, I never said I was perfect/ Say I'm abusing these women, what the fuck that's some absurd shit (what?)
They're brainwashed, really? (really)/ Kidnapped, really? (really)/ Can't eat, really? (really)/ Real talk, that shit sound silly (yeah)/ And if you really, really wanna know (know)/ Her father dropped her off at my show (show)/ And told this boy to put her on the stage (yeah)/ I admit that she was over age (age)/ I admit that I was feelin' her and I admit that she was feelin' me (she was feelin' me)"
"Blew so much money, pop so many bottles, yeah I fucked a bitch just because (just because)"
"I did that Bump and Grind, I did that 12 Play, I did that Fed Up"
Kelly offers 'advice' to the parents who have accused him of holding their daughters hostage in his 'sex dungeon'. He refers directly to Joycelyn Savage who recently told the press that she is not a 'hostage':
"I admit that this is no disrespect to the parents (no disrespect)/ But this is my advice to you 'cause I'm also a parent / Don't push your daughter in my face, and tell me that it's okay (my face, okay)/ 'Cause your agenda is to get paid, and get mad when it don't go your way (yeah, go way)"
Kelly fears his fate will be like Bill Cosby's because of his 'opinions':
"Ain't seen my kids in years, they tryna lock me up like Bill (in years, like Bill)"
"You may have your opinions, entitled to your opinions (opinions, opinions) But really am I supposed to go to jail or lose my career because of your opinion"
He raps about how he felt like giving up and how he lied. He says his mistakes are human and his loyal fans are his support system:
"I admit that I just feel like retiring (I, yeah)/ I admit that I just don't feel like trying (I, yeah)/ But all my real niggas round me keep tellin' me/ "Kells, fuck that, you gotta keep climbin"
"I admit I got so many flaws (yeah)/ Told so many lies to these broads (too many lies)"
"I admit that I love my fans, for all the push and support they've shown (my fans)/ I admit if it wasn't for them, I wouldn't have never stayed strong (for them, oh)"
"I know y'all look at me like I don't go through things, but I'm human/ I know it's hard sometimes, but try to keep in mind that I'm human/ Fuck all the fortune and fame, forget the name, I'm a human"
"Look I'm just a man y'all / Not a monster or beast (no, no)/ But I admit there are times when these girls so fine, they'll chill with a nigga for a week/ Now I admit I love Hugh Hefner/ Through the years supported Hugh Hefner/ But when he left this world, he had a million girls, but we gon' always love Hugh Hefner"
"I admit it, I was young and caught up and so blind, yeah (so blind)/ Said I had dyslexia, couldn't read all them contracts"
He talks about indulging in drugs:
"I admit I been tempted by drugs/ I admit that I just need a hug"
"I admit I love God but wait/ It's so much temptation but, wait/ And mental, the drinking and smoking too much/ But it helped me get through the day (oh, day)"
He refers to the 'devil' four times and says 'social media' is devil in disguise:
"I admit the devil talk to me sometimes, but the devil is not who I trust (yeah, not who I trust)"
"How can we get up off the ground, when we steady tearin' each other down (how, oh)/ I admit that the devil is busy (busy)/Had some people beside me ain't with me (with me)"
"So easy to mess up someone else's life/ Through social media, the devil in disguise"
He raps about his financial struggles:
"All these hits out but I couldn't put food on the table (table)/ I was told I had to sell my cars, I was told I couldn't get a loan (cars, loans)/ Said I owed 20 million to the IRS and they were coming to get my home"
"Where the fuck is my money? Now here comes this big ass conspiracy"
"Now the truth in this message, is I'm a broke ass legend (message, legend)/ The only reason I stay on tour is 'cause I gotta pay my rent (on tour, my)"
Kelly admits his career is in jeopardy:
"Take my career and turn it upside down, 'cause you mad I've got some girlfriends/ Hell with this record deal, it ain't worth this shit for real"
"My lawyers told me settle this / Even though it's bullshit/ Kelly, protect your career/ All these people in my ear"
"I been fucked by so many damn managers, while they push me out front of these cameras (managers, cameras)/ All this music I done gave to them, and now they play me like a fuckin' amateur"
"I never thought it would come to this, to be the most disrespected artist"
"I admit I'm at rock bottom/ And this shit has rocked my mind"
"Man I admit I go through so much day to day/ Got 23 lawyers, 3 or 4 managers, what am I doing? Show me the way"
"Since when do assumptions, cost a man his whole career (since when? whole career)/ Found guilty when you're innocent, is the only times that I fear"
He reveals that he was sexually abused when he was a kid:
"Now, I admit a family member touched me (touched me, touched me, touched me)/ From a child to the age 14, yeah/ While I laid asleep, took my virginity (sleep, gini')/ So scared to say something, so I just put the blame on me"
He names his 'brothers' and wonders why they want to bring another brother down:
"I admit it, I love Steve Harvey/ John Legend, and Tom Joyner/ They're doing good in their lives right now, why would they wanna tear down another brother (tear down)"
"I admit I miss my brothers/ But I admit they weren't acting like brothers/ Yeah, we've had our differences, but you don't turn on your brother (no)"
"I'm callin' on my hood, come walk by my side"
Kelly names a Chicago reporter Jim DeRogatis who has been reporting on his sexual misconduct since the ’90s:
“To Jim DeRogatis, whatever your name is (whatever your name is)/ You been tryna destroy me for 25 whole years (25 whole years, yeah)/ Writin' the same stories over and over against (stories, stories, yeah)/ Off my name, you done went and made yourself a career (a whole career)"
He says Aaliyah means "love":
“She said, ‘What about Aaliyah said?’ Love/ She said, ‘What about the tape?’/ I said hush"
Kelly addresses being removed from Spotify earlier this year:
"Spotify, took me off they playlist /I admit that I, been underrated (rated)/ I'm not convicted, not arrested, but dragged my name in the dirt (nope, oh, yeah, yeah)/ All this work to be successful, when you abandon me 'cause of what you heard (yeah, oh, yeah, heard)"
Kelly then reminds his audience about his relevance and importance:
"Cause from fathers, mothers, sons, and daughters, I am part of the music culture"
"I changed the damn game, so I deserve me a fair play, so put some respect on my damn name (fair)"
The rapper sends out a message to his three children:
"Robert, Jay, and Joanne, my kids/ What you hearin' out here about dad, guys I'm sorry for this (sorry)/ I'm so sorry, I can't imagine what y'all must be goin' through (oh, through)/ Every day it's somethin' about me, my god, it must be killin' you (killin' you)/ I promise there'll be better days, just keep walkin' straight (there'll be better days, just keep walkin' straight)/ I know you must be worried but just know that I'm okay (oh, I'm okay)
For me, things has gotten rough (rough)/ Right now I can't say too much (say too much) But for y'all I will stay tough/ Daddy just need y'all to trust, and believe in me (trust, in me)/ I admit that I've told the truth/ And still not free"
Finally, Kelly talks about violence in Chicago:
"I admit that my heart cries for my city/ 'Cause we're losing young lives in our city (my city)/ Instead of judging me, y'all should be using me (judging me, using me)/ To help these kids, raise them out of depression and poverty/ Now I'm not saying I'm no savior, but I can be an inspiration (no savior, inspiration)/ This is an invitation"