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Writer says he will 'never give up his seat' for women as they never do the same for him

Writer Nirpal Dhaliwal, 45, debated the issue on 'Good Morning Britain' following a controversial tweet by a woman who criticized a man for helping her with her luggage on a plane
UPDATED AUG 7, 2019

A writer has revealed he now refuses to give up his seat for women while traveling on trains after being "confused" by the modern rules of chivalry.

During an appearance on 'Good Morning Britain', journalist and writer Nirpal Dhaliwal, 45, debated the issue following a controversial tweet by a woman where she criticized a man for helping her with her luggage on a plane.

According to the Londoner, there's no point being chivalrous if one's going to be ridiculed for it, Daily Mail reports.

"Firstly, if a woman is able-bodied, why should I? Guys pay for the train ticket as much as women do," he said.

"They have a long day at work, they're knackered and, if she's physically able, why should I give up my seat for her. Guys are getting their heads bitten off or getting an earful just for helping. And that's confusing for guys. The urge to be nice is there."

In response, broadcaster and comedian Noreen Khan said feminism and chivalry can "co-exist" and that she'd still be happy to accept help from a man.

Noreen Khan attends the Lebara Mobile Asian Music Awards at The Roundhouse on March 10, 2011, in London, England. (Photo by Ian Gavan/Getty Images)

"It's a one-way street," Dhaliwal said, explaining further.

"A woman has never given up her seat for me, that's even when I've had a football injury and I've been limping down the carriage. I've never had a woman offer me a seat, open a door for me, pull out out a chair for me. Nothing."

However, Khan said the meaning of chivalry had changed over the years, but maintained that allowing a man to help her didn't contradict her feminist values.

"I consider myself a feminist and I would never be offended if a man was chivalrous," Khan said. "If he decides to open the door for me or says would you like help with your luggage, I'd say yes please even If I haven't asked for it," she said.

"I think the two can co-exist—chivalry and feminism."

Khan suggested that chivalry is no longer viewed as "protecting" women or rescuing "a damsel in distress."

"I don't think it's about that anymore. I think it's about supporting each other," she said.

"I think us women, we would do the same for men. If he wants to hold the door open, I'll happily hold the door open too. I think it's quite rude if a guy decides to help you and for you to say, no thank you. Whenever I go on a train, I never expect a man to give up his seat for me."   



 

Nonetheless, Dhaliwal said if the woman was "pregnant, had a health or physical problem", he would definitely help her.

"There's so much palaver. I would help but I'd probably ask them to sign a consent form!" he quipped.

The debate came after a controversial tweet by writer and poet Caroline Rothstein who wrote about an incident when a man tried to help her with her luggage.

"Saying, 'No thank you, I got it,' to the middle-aged white man on the airplane who offered—and began—to take my suitcase out of the overhead compartment for me was a quickly calculated act of resistance," she tweeted.

Rothstein was heavily criticized later on for getting annoyed with someone who was just trying to help.

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