A queer 'Fifty Shades of Grey': Lillian Fishman's novel 'Acts of Service' is RAUNCHY to the core
American author Lillian Fishman's debut novel 'Acts of Service' is gaining in popularity day by day. The book, which was released in May, tells the story of Eve, a young New York barista who becomes dissatisfied with her long-term partner and embarks on a complicated, sexually intense three-way relationship with a financier named Nathan and his lover Olivia.
'Acts of Service' has been hailed as the 'naughtiest book of the season' already. The novel's first lines read, "I had hundreds of nudes stored in my phone, but I'd never sent them to anyone." In the novel's several steamy sex scenes, Eve has sex with her girlfriend but later discovers that she enjoys being controlled by Nathan.
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Publications like Vogue have praised the book, calling it "unflinchingly sexy" and declaring it one of the most eagerly awaited releases of 2022.
Since sexual activity between the characters is essential to their growth and the issues of power, identity, and sexuality, Fishman is unreserved in her portrayal of it:
"Nathan f***** [Olivia] for stretches of six or eight hours, encouraged her to watch while he toyed with other women, transformed their workplace into a sexual landscape that was strange and spellbinding," a section of a chapter reads from the perspective of Eve. "While he toyed with Olivia, I felt excited and urgent. I envied both of them. In moments, my envy was eclipsed by self-consciousness; I didn't know how to hold my body while I was waiting for a sign that I was wanted.
But I didn't wait long. During the nights the three of us had spent together, he'd never f***** Olivia in front of me. After he had kissed and disheveled her a little, he turned to me, stripped me within twenty seconds, and laid me back on the couch. Once he was above me, I forgot anything except the weight of him and the temperature of my skin, the aching cool in the places that missed his touch. "
At the start of the story, Eve decides to publish naked pictures on an anonymous website behind her girlfriend's back. The conceited lead character, who is preoccupied with her attractiveness, views herself as shallow and unhappy with life.
Nathan, who has been compared to Christian Grey from 'Fifty Shades of Grey', is successful at whatever he sets his mind to. Whether it's making art, being a New York City finance tycoon, or giving the various women he sleeps with orgasms, he never fails.
Olivia, who is originally portrayed as bashful, is the third main character and is first introduced as a prominent part until the narrative focuses more on Nathan and Eve's tumultuous relationship.
Olivia, who has never slept with a woman before but is attracted, notices Eve's nude images and extends her an invitation to spend the night with her and Nathan. Eve decides to meet the pair after getting over her initial reservations, and they start having sexual relations.
"I was meant to have sex—probably with some wild number of people," Eve claims that her craving is much more fierce. She explains, "Maybe... I was meant not to f*** but to get f*****," in the opening pages of the book.
In one explicit scene, Nathan shows up at Eve's job and orders her to undress in the café bathroom. Eve examines the complex dynamics of their polyamorous relationship and her place within it as the story progresses.
To show the complexity of their emotions and wants, Fishman writes sex scenes between the three and between different couples.
Eve describes one of her experiences with Nathan: "He undressed me in front of the massive windows. It was warm in the hotel room... Underneath my turtleneck, I wore plain black underwear I had carefully prepared. While I stood against the windows, he watched me from below through the eye of his phone, murmuring pleasures, directing me—asking to see my legs spread, my back arched. This was as cruelly satiating as only the moment of his first entering me had been before."
Another interaction between them reads: "It was when I touched her that I felt Olivia's desire and her anxiety roped together...I knelt behind her, running my fingers over her narrow back, her freckled hips. "
Eve's faith in Nathan and their relationship is put to the test in the book's conclusion.
In an interview with The Cut, Fishman spoke of her book and how she never expected Nathan to become the center of it, although she felt it was "needed".
"It became a book about a relationship between Eve and Nathan. And I didn't want the book to be about Nathan or heterosexuality. Those are things I was avoiding and was uncomfortable with, and I certainly thought of myself as a queer person and as a person who would write a queer novel. But that center announced itself to me, and I'm happy it did. The book is about Nathan and needed to be. "
"Acts of Service is grappling with... basically how it feels to disappoint yourself and the queer community by realizing that you want to explore this mainstream desire that you feel very self-critical about and almost disgusted by," she added.
Fishman shared her experience of writing the book with ALL ARTS: "It was a very messy process and one that I look back on now with some disbelief and admiration. I felt determined to bring it about urgently, even though I didn't have much time or space thoroughly to myself. "
The novel, ever since its release in May, has been met with mixed reviews.
While BuzzFeed said that Fishman had written "one of the most entertaining books about sex", The Times called the plot "lazy" and said that the sex scenes were not entertaining enough.
There has been a similar conflict among the readers of the novel.
A reader wrote on Goodreads, "What in the queer 50 shades of grey lmao! Messy but funnnnn. We love drama. Prayers for Olivia!"
Another penned: "This book is very much about the power dynamics of sex between men and women, and how queerness coincides with that, and my favorite parts of the book are where the narrator is very affected by the male gaze. I think there were some valuable insights into how the patriarchy affects sex, specifically, and how women feel so rawly attracted to male praise regardless of their sexuality."
Someone else said, "Fishman paints a rich and complex portrait of sexuality in the twenty-first century and its adjacent concepts of power and agency and how we are perceived by others. It cleverly explores sex and sexuality in a way that is not only addictive to read, but also self-contained and philosophical. Does sexual desire and freedom come hand in hand with morality and politics? To what extent does the patriarchy and gender roles influence our intrinsic thoughts regarding love and sex? "
About the author
Lillian Fishman was born in 1994. She currently lives in New York in a tiny room in a three-bed apartment. Fishman was a Jill Davis Fellow at New York University, where she earned her master's in fine arts (2020). 'Acts of Service' is her debut novel.
Fishman shared that she used to write on a laptop at night while in bed or at the NYU library. As mentioned earlier, being a queer person who always assumed she would write a queer novel, she was taken aback when Nathan turned out to be the main character.
Fishman's book has drawn comparisons to Sally Rooney, a writer who had tremendous success with her first three books. Rooney claims to identify with her characters, while Fishman claims she does not.
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"Eve, the character, is much more serious, much more angst-ridden and neurotic. I have to say I don’t think she’s like me at all," she said, describing herself as "fearful" and "cautious".