Landon Clifford was depressed and hanged himself in the garage after saying he was going for a bath, wife reveals
New details have emerged in Landon Clifford's sudden death. The 'Cam&Fam' star died at the age of 19 earlier this month on August 18, 2020, after suffering a brain injury. His wife Camryn reveals that the YouTube star struggled with mental health, was hooked on various prescription drugs and tried to hang himself in his garage. Clifford, 19, ran a YouTube channel with his wife Camryn, 19, where they went as Cam&Fam and had more than 1.35 million subscribers.
In a new YouTube video she uploaded on Thursday, August 27, Camryn explained how Landon died, adding that he was privately struggling with anxiety and depression and had ADHD since he was a child.
You can watch the video here.
"He has had mental health issues for as long as I have known him. He suffered from anxiety and depression. He had ADHD which he has had since he was a little boy, so his whole life he's always just kind of struggled with his emotions and just the way his brain was wired," Camryn said. She said that on August 13, 2020, he had tried to hang himself in the garage when she cut down the ripe with a knife and called the police. He then spent six days in the hospital and on August 18, was declared brain dead.
According to Camryn, Landon fell was attacked by a bout of depression after they welcomed their second child Delilah Rose Clifford in May. The couple shares two daughters named, Collette Briar Clifford (2 years) and Delilah (3 months). She added that when he went to see a psychiatrist seeking help with his panic attacks and depression, he was given three medications. He fell into a 'hole' — a vicious cycle where he took ADHD medication in the morning and anti-anxiety medication (which is only meant for panic attacks) to calm down at night.
"It was kind of a lethal mixture of these two very strong, heavy drugs, both very addicting and he just kind of fell into a hole," Camryn revealed. "He needed the uppers to get up in the morning and downers to slow down at night. And the more downers he took at night the more uppers he needed to get up... So it was a very, very vicious cycle and he just kept taking more and more and needed more for his body to feel the effects." Camryn added that she didn't know he was abusing medications.
In the video, she continued that the reality of looking after two kids "hit us hard". After Delilah's birth, the two took a break and stayed separately at their parents' to work on mental health. This also could help Landon ease off drugs. In fact, after going home in Dallas, Landon told his psychiatrist that he was addicted to medications and only stayed on anti-depressants. "It really seemed like things were looking up and we were getting back into our normal routine," she said.
On August 13, the night Landon tried to hang himself, he told Camryn things that made her suspicious and worried. She had just got back home after meeting a friend and things were going as per usual when "he said that he was sorry for everything he put me through," she said. "It was really hard on me when I was pregnant and he was heavy in his addiction and he really just wasn't himself at that time. He was just apologizing to me for everything. I could tell he was putting a lot of blame on himself."
She tried to defuse the situation by telling him several different versions of 'everything is okay'. "I told him that I loved him and that I forgave him and things are different now and we're on a new path. I gave him a hug and a kiss and told him that I love him and that it's okay."
Landon then told her that he was going take a bath. Because he did that every night, she didn't assume anything wrong. After a while, she could hear her daughter create a ruckus upstairs. She went only to discover that Landon was not in the bathroom, neither was he in the kids' room. That's when she went to the garage and found him hanging there. She recalled how she was immediately hit with a wave of shock and took a second to realize what was actually happening. She rushed to the kitchen for a knife, cut him down and then phoned 911. She checked for a pulse, she couldn't find it. When EMT workers arrived, they were able to get his pulse back.
He spent six days in a hospital in a coma and was declared brain dead on August 18. Camryn also said he was a registered organ donor. She adds that "there is no way that we're better off without him". She rues that she did not know about this earlier. "If he knew everything that would follow after he did what he did, he wouldn't have. That's why I am here to tell his story because there are so many people out there who need to hear about what comes after".
If you or someone you know needs help, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).