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'It's Okay to Not be Okay' Episode 3: Mun-yeong thirsts over shirtless Kang-tae, makes fans uncomfortable

One of the scenes in 'It's Okay to Not be Okay' Episode 3 has fans feeling conflicted about the portrayal of how Mun-yeong continually disrespects Kang-tae's boundaries
UPDATED JUN 28, 2020
Ko Mun-yeong and Moon Kang-tae (tvN)
Ko Mun-yeong and Moon Kang-tae (tvN)

'It's Okay to Not be Okay' Episode 3 centers on Mun-yeong (Seo Ye-ji) following Kang-tae (Kim Soo-hyun) to his new workplace after she realizes their connection from the past. He was the same kid who had followed her around as a child, and now, just thinking about him brings her a sense of calm that she has never experienced before. Especially when in the throes of her nightmare, she wakes up and the thought of Kang-tae's advice calms her frenzied mind, she knows that she cannot give up on him. She realizes that she needs him in her life.

It is this decision that leads her back to Kang-tae at the hospital and this time around, she doesn't wait around for him. Instead, she just enters the private locker space of the employees and Kang-tae happens to be changing at that moment. As he stands there shirtless, Mun-yeong ends up thirsting over him, and even goes "Wow" after seeing his form. It is this scene that has fans conflicted because if the characters' places were to be switched, the disrespect of boundaries would have been a scene that would have been called out for problematic portrayal of consent.

Many fans also pointed out that this characteristic of Mun-yeong is a result of her mental state and her perception of fellow humans as nothing more than things that she would possess. She had also mentioned the same again in episode 3 when she had said that Kang-tae, to her, is no different from pretty clothes or a pretty car. However, is it okay to chalk up this scene as the byproduct of Mun-yeong's state of mind rather or was it really the whims of the author that the show catered to?

One fan explained on Reddit, "Right off the bat I want to talk about APD (Antisocial Personality Disorder) a little bit. People with APD do not have concepts of boundaries, and they view the people that they're in relationships with as extensions to themselves, someone they fulfill a need from. This is MY understand[ing] of KT in her mind. It is why she continues to disrespect his boundaries and continues to disregard his ‘no’. That does not ABSOLVE her. But it’s obvious that as a young adult and now as a grown woman, she has never been in consistent therapy to understand this. People with APD don’t see a difference between right or wrong, they only understand their own needs. It is why what she does makes you uncomfortable. I mean it definitely makes me uncomfortable."

Another fan, however, wrote, "The reverse male-female trope is making me feel some typa way because I know it won’t be as enjoyable if it was the other way around huh." To this, many fans responded in the affirmative and explained that the scene made them uncomfortable too. One fan responded, "We've had enough of persistent male leads leaving no stones unturned and going to questionable lengths to pursue the female leads, and then successfully getting them in the end because destiny and all that jazz. But is a reversal of these roles any better? Persistently chasing after someone you're interested in when they're clearly rejecting your advances and feels uncomfortable by them is not cool, regardless of which gender is on which side of the equation. A woman doing problematic things that are otherwise conventionally associated with men doesn't make her 'progressive'. Her actions are as much problematic as they'd have been if they were committed by a man."

However, this fan is also willing to give the benefit of doubt to the lead character and the show. The fan wrote, "In this particular case in this drama, as a layperson who's no expert about mental health issues, I'm still kind of willing to give it a benefit of doubt owing to the female lead's psychological disorder. She makes it clear that she views the male lead and people in general in the same way she views materialistic possessions – if something catches her fancy, she must have it at any expense, be it a ring in a jewelry store or an innocent caregiver at a psychiatric hospital who's just going around minding his own business. By now it's evident that she has a pretty skewed perception of the world around her."

'It's Okay to Not Be Okay' originally airs on tvN on Saturdays and Sundays at 9 pm KST in South Korea and can be streamed on Netflix.

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