'I'll Be Gone In The Dark' Finale: Was Golden State Killer a 'painful' sexual partner to his ex-fiancée Bonnie?
"I was 18. The good girl. The rule follower. I started dating this guy," Bonnie Jean Colwell, Golden State Killer aka Joseph James DeAngelo's ex-fiancée spills the beans on HBO's ‘I'll Be Gone In The Dark’. The final episode of the series titled ‘Walk into the Light’ begins with an introduction to the East Area Rapist's love life and it will give you sleepless nights.
Narrating her story, Bonnie said, "He was studying law enforcement and I was in nursing. He was very gregarious, outgoing with all my friends. We had been together close to a year. He gave me a solitaire engagement ring and told me that we were going to be married." Bonnie then goes on to describe how he never followed the rules and begins to elucidate his brash, boisterous behavior. "The rules were never for him. He took me hunting without a license. Illegal spear-fishing. We crossed into no trespassing territory at night. So many of the things that we did together, he pushed me toward fear," she said.
Not just that, at one time, she almost felt like it was "suicide" on a bike-ride with him. "One time I am on the back on his motorcycle doing the steep hill climb. I am just thinking this is suicide," she said, adding, "He let a German Shepherd chase us on the bike and he kept the dog under his chin and broke it into two. It just dropped dead."
What was the breaking point for her? "The critical point for us was in college. He told me that I was going to help him cheat in the exam. I told him I won't let you cheat from my paper. But you have to: we're engaged. You owe me this. As he continued to put on pressure, I gave him back the engagement ring." What followed will haunt you forever. Bonnie said, "Two weeks later, at 2 or 3 in the morning, there was a tapping of glass on my window. I pulled the curtain back and he was pointing the gun at me. And said get dressed we're going to Reno tonight. We're going to be married. At that time I still lived in my parents' home. I ran to go wake up my father to help me. He put me in the bathroom and told me don't you come out till I come and get you."
Bonnie never found out what really transpired between her father and Joseph. "It was about two hours of time. My father just came back and told me to go to bed. No indication of what was said or what had happened on the porch and I never knew. I never got the story from my father. I never saw Joe again."
Revealing how it was a power game for him, she then said "he taught me how to drive and he showed me a rifle, taught me how to clean it, how to load it, how to shoot it." She added, "It was a power thing. It was all about his dominance."
She also goes on to reveal how he was in bed. "Joe was my first sexual partner. When we were together intimately, he would stop and come back, stop and come back, Stop and come back. And I didn't really understand that I could say this is not fun for me. This is practically painful for me. But I went along. I didn't really know any better. I had no reference to say this is going toward abusive."
"When he was arrested, and I started to tell the story again, I was sleeping about three hours a night. I was waking up with a gun at my head over and over again." On one of his attacks, DeAngelo sobbed, "I hate you Bonnie. I hate you." Was their breakup the reason behind his monstrosity? "I did not know how much I was involved in the case. I refuse to wear the blame for a crazy man. I do not have guilt for that but empathy for the women that were attacked and I can't turn that off."
As HBO's six-part docuseries comes to an end, the hunt for the Golden State Killer may have ended but the horrors of his crimes will stay there to haunt minds forever. Michelle's last words for him make for just the perfect end: "This is how it ends for you. 'You’ll be silent forever, and I’ll be gone in the dark,' you threatened a victim once. Open the door. Show us your face. Walk into the light."