Gwyneth Paltrow reveals what she would do if she could go back in time as she nears 50

'The sun has left her celestial fingerprints all over me, as if she soaked a brush in dark-taupe watercolor, flecking it over my skin," wrote Paltrow

Gwyneth Paltrow reveals what she would do if she could go back in time as she nears 50
Actress Gwyneth Paltrow, wearing Gucci, attends LACMA 2015 Art+Film Gala Honoring James Turrell and Alejandro G Iñárritu, Presented by Gucci at LACMA on November 7, 2015 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images for LACMA)
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Gwenyth Paltrow is about to celebrate her milestone 50th birthday on September 27th and has decided to take to Goop take a look back on the past five decades and carefully pick out her key takeaways. "I strangely have no sense of time passed. I am as connected to this feeling of longing, of promise — promise of the fall, of something ebbing — as I was 30 years ago," she wrote. 

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"But there is something about the sweetness of life that exists deep within me that is unchanged, that will not change. It is the essence of the essence. It seems to be getting sweeter," she added. The businesswoman revealed how intrigued she is with the "map of the evidence" that has been given to her over the past 49 years.

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"A collection of marks and irregularities that dog-ear the chapters. Scarred from oven burns, a finger smashed in a window long ago, the birth of a child. Silver hair and fine lines. The sun has left her celestial fingerprints all over me, as if she soaked a brush in dark-taupe watercolor, flecking it over my skin," she wrote.

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Even though Paltrow has become very well-known in the wellness sector because to her yoni jade eggs and vagina-scented candles, she admitted she had no wish to stop the signs of aging. "While I do what I can to strive for good health and longevity, to stave off weakening muscles and receding bone, I have a mantra I insert into those reckless thoughts that try to derail me: I accept. I accept the marks and the loosening skin, the wrinkles. I accept my body and let go of the need to be perfect, look perfect, defy gravity, defy logic, defy humanity. I accept my humanity," she expressed. 

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Paltrow claims that as she moves toward the figurative hill, she has discovered new levels of self-awareness, explaining which she wrote, "I, perhaps, am moving out of this felt sense of the cumulative just in time. It is being replaced with an awareness that is hard to define. An awareness that lives somewhere between the physical chapters of my life, the data points of what I did and where I was, and the energy of the life itself."

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However, she is not inclined to dwell on the 'should haves' of life, regardless of how insightful and important her period of reflection has been. "I'm not sure I believe in going back in time to correct mistakes; every one of those sleepless hours that came from one of these transgressions against myself or others has led to something. Something meaningful, I hope. If nothing else, they have led me to a path of questioning. Of seeking a better version of myself," she further wrote.

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Paltrow admits that she would however love to suggest her younger self to not shy away or refrain from establishing steadfast boundaries for herself in her life. "People often ask, 'If you could go back to your 21-year-old self and give her some advice…,' Well, I would know my boundary and hold on to it more tightly than my life itself. And yet, perhaps the more important question is what will I do going forward," she contiued. 

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Wrapping up her summary of her refelction of the gone years, she wrote, "I would like to retreat a little bit. I would like to make my circle smaller. I would like to cook dinner more. I would like to see misunderstandings become understandings. I would like to continue to open the deepest part of myself to my husband, even though it scares me. I would like to sing more, even if it's just in the shower. I would like to tell anyone that had a negative experience with me that I am sorry. I would like to fully acknowledge myself. I am imperfect, I can shut down and turn to ice, I have no patience, I swear at other drivers, I don't close my closet doors, I lie when I don't want to hurt feelings. I am also generous and funny. I am smart and brave. I am a searcher, and I can bring you along on my quest for meaning. When I love you, you will feel it encompass you through time and space and till the end of the earth. I am all of it."

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Paltrow has set herself as an inspirational figure for what turning 50 should look like and how the dilemmas that it brings along should be handled. She is actively interested in learning from the goods and bads from the past and taking it with her as she goes forward. Paltrow intends to feel nothing but full of life and acceptance of herself and everything her life has been so far. 

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