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Dog the Bounty Hunter contemplated suicide after Beth Chapman died: "I want to take..."

“She paved the way for me. I want to take a g– d— pain pill so bad. I feel like if I did something to myself right now," he said out of grief.

Trigger Warning: This article contains themes of suicide that some readers may find distressing.

Duane Lee Chapman married Beth in 2006 after being in an on-again-off-again relationship for years. The couple attained fame on television through the reality series Dog the Bounty Hunter based on Duane's life. On June 26th, 2019 Beth tragically passed away after suffering from stage II throat cancer and Duane contemplated suicide due to extreme grief. As per People, the emotional moment was aired during the finale of WGN’s Dog’s Most Wanted.

“I just hope that I don’t live very much longer without her, because now she made the first step, she’s through the gate,” he confessed to the camera during the show. “She paved the way for me. I want to take a g– d— pain pill so bad. I feel like if I did something to myself right now and passed away suicidal." 

He continued, "And I got to heaven and was like, ‘Hi honey,’ and would she go, ‘You d— a–, why would you do that?’ Or would she go, ‘Wow, you’re here.’ I’ll be like ‘Of course I’m here. You left me. I’m here.’ So, am I obligated to do that?” The reality star confessed to feeling numb and still coming to terms with his beloved wife's death. "I don’t realize yet psychologically that she’s gone gone and I’ll never, ever see her. I don’t realize that.” Duane paid tribute to his late wife through heartfelt family footage which was included during the finale episode. "Beth’s hike was the stairway to heaven,” he said while talking about her daily activities. 

“It’s about 6 a.m. in Hawaii, Honolulu. At 5:30 something, Beth usually gets up every day to hit Koko Head mountain here with the family, some of her girls, and her dog, and today at that time,” he added. The Chapman family honored Beth's memory with a solemn service at Fort DeRussy Beach in Waikiki, Hawaii, and the Heritage Christian Center in Aurora, Colorado. Recently during an exclusive with E! News, Duane and Beth's daughter Bonnie admitted to missing her late mother the most during the holiday season. Calling it 'bittersweet' she confessed, "Because it's Christmastime, but it's Christmastime without someone who was a monumental part of my life. So trying to find a little happiness here and there while dealing with that, it's a balance." 

Bonnie explained that she liked to keep her mother's memories fresh while dealing with loss. "I'd rather wear my heart on my sleeve than keep it guarded and have it piled up with so many emotions that have been sitting there and brewing under the surface." She ended by reminiscing about a special Christmas celebration with her family and expressing gratitude for her mother's affection. "It made me and my siblings always feel so loved because she remembered everything we said we wanted throughout the years. She just put so much thought into us kids. And I wish I could have told her how much I love that."  

SUICIDE:  If you are having thoughts about taking your own life or know of anyone who is, please contact The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-SUICIDE (784-2433).