Demi Lovato's hyper-controlling management didn't help her days before her overdose: 'You're being very selfish'
Demi Lovato opened up about struggling with abandonment issues, substance abuse and eating disorders on her recent appearance on The Ellen DeGeneres Show. The singer spoke about getting help for her alcoholism and enlisting the help of her management team to help with her sobriety. She said, "I got the help I needed at the time and I took a 'one size fits all' approach and that was just sobriety. So my whole team took that approach and we did it and it worked for a long time but I realized over time, as things with the eating disorder were getting bad, over the years it got worse and worse. People checking my orders at Starbucks on my bank statements."
The 'I Love Me' singer then went on to talk about how controlling her management team got, including confiscating her phone so she could not order room service and removing all sugary foods from her surroundings, and how this worsened her condition and her mental health.
"It led me to be really, really unhappy, my bulimia got really really bad. I asked for help but didn't get the help that I needed. I was stuck in this unhappy position, I was six years sober, but I was miserable. I was more miserable than when I was drinking."
Lovato found herself questioning her own sobriety, but when she reached out to her team, they were less than helpful. "I sent a message out and reached out to my team and they responded with 'You're being very selfish, this would ruin things not just for you but for us as well'," which simply triggered the same feelings of abandonment for the singer all over again. And so, after six years of sobriety, Lovato relapsed.
"My core issues are abandonment as a child from my birth father. He was an addict, alcoholic. We had to leave him and I had vivid memories of him leaving. It played on that fear and I felt abandoned so I drank. That night I went to a party and there was other stuff there. And it was only three months before I ended up in the hospital with an OD," she said.
In July 2018, Lovato was hospitalized after she suffered an overdose and was admitted to an in-patient facility.
But Lovato is not placing the blame for her overdose on anyone else, and instead is encouraging people who deal with addiction to take responsibility for themselves. She says, "Ultimately, I made the decisions that led me to where I am today. It was my actions that put me in the position that I’m in. And I think it’s so important that I sit here on this stage and tell you at home or you in the audience or you right here that if you do go through this, you yourself can get through it.”
Lovato received a standing ovation at this year's Grammy Awards in January when she returned for first public performance since her overdose, belting out “Anyone,” a song she wrote days before she ended up in the hospital.