Big Dick Energy: Is BDE a real thing? How Pete Davidson made Anthony Bourdain's tribute famous
Even though it was originally coined for Anthony Bourdain as a tribute to his amazing adventures when he passed away, most of the world heard about Big Dick Energy or BDE after Ariana Grande, the then-fiancee of Pete Davidson, went on to talk about his organic meat. Someone asked the 'Love Me Harder' singer "how long Pete is" and Grande shot off "Like 10 inches? …oh f**k…i mean…like a lil over a minute." Predictably, Davidson's penis went on to be discussed at length.
Then, when the couple broke up, Davidson moved on to women just as hot, if not hotter. Ever since, he has been linked to Kate Beckinsale, Margaret Qualley and most recently, Kaia Gerber. What cemented the mythical beast named BDE and Pete totally owning it was that the women he was linked to were way out of his league.
So is BDE a real thing? We spoke to sex educator, sex and relationship coach and co-host of the Shameless Sex Podcast Amy Baldwin and Dr Tammy Nelson, a certified sex and couples therapist and author of 'Getting the Sex You Want', to get to the bottom of it.
Bigger is not always better
The experts believe that while men with bigger than average dicks tend to be more confident in bed and tend to have more than average sexual energy, it generally means nothing when it comes to how good they could be for you, said Dr Nelson.
"As far as I know, there is no correlation between having a big dick and libido," said Baldwin.
Plus, some women don't really like a monster dick or a larger than average penis. In fact, most women find it painful to have penis-in-vagina intercourse with a penis that is too large, too thick or too long, experts say.
Big Dick Energy is more than just size
Take note, because pleasing a partner ultimately has nothing to do with the length or breadth of a man's dick.
BDE could just be because he's feeling, as Lizzo would say, "good as hell". "People are often more desirous when they are feeling good about themselves, so it would make sense that having confidence in one’s body might lead to more desire to have sex."
It's problematic
Experts think that obsessing too hard over the idea of Big Dick Energy is in a way shaming those who don't fit the mold. "I suggest we get away from glorifying and objectifying the size and shape of body parts and start speaking to what truly matters, and that is the person attached to all of the parts," said Baldwin. And because we live in a "big rock-hard cock-centric society" penis size has the ability to affect one’s idea of how they may value themselves in the world, Baldwin said.
But you know what perpetuates this idea, right? Porn.
Male prowess is linked to having a large penis and porn shows us that the large size of a man's penis seems to please all women all the time. "This isn't true in real life and can make men with average size penises feel inadequate. The reality is that men who know how to make love and know how to please a woman in bed, regardless of the size of their penis, will do better in the long run," said Dr Nelson.
So is BDE a real thing?
Yes, but it has nothing to do with the genitals. It all boils down to confidence — which also means that Petey fits the bill.
They say that you're actually attracted to is that sexy confident glow that attracts anyone like a moth to a flame — who doesn’t want to be in the presence of someone who exudes shininess and positivity?
Big Dick Energy is a level of authentic confidence that feels natural and easy. It’s not arrogant or over-the-top. These people feel good about themselves and it really shows. Anyone can have Big Dick Energy regardless of gender. It’s really about how they show up in the world in relation to others as opposed to what they are actually packing in their pants, say experts.