The best jokes from Bruce Willis' roast on Comedy Central, Demi Moore's included
The batch of roasters was quite diverse including the likes of roastmaster Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Edward Norton, Martha Stewart and even Willis' former wife Demi Moore.
Bruce Willis has survived many on-screen explosions and hits but he recently went through a different kind of challenge, namely the celebrity roast. The roast was nothing short of being absolutely brutal and the topics ranged from his one-note acting career to lack of hair, love life, and music career. Celebrities did not hold back from roasting Willis.
The batch of roasters was very diverse and included the likes of roastmaster Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Dennis Rodman, and even Martha Stewart. Willis' former wife Demi Moore also made a surprise appearance. The couple had been married for around 13 years and also have three children together- Rumer, Tallulah Belle, and Scout LaRue.
Obligatory post telling you to watch the Roast of Bruce Willis tonight on Comedy Central that’s really just me bragging that I wrote jokes for it! Tonight at 10! pic.twitter.com/vV5yVernEC— Keith Carey (@keithtellsjokes) July 29, 2018
Moore is being praised as the highlight of the entire night. During the roast, she compared her marriage to Willis to his iconic film 'The Sixth Sense' stating, "I look at our marriage like The Sixth Sense. You were dead the whole time". Gordon-Levitt also had something to add regarding Willis' 'The Sixth Sense' and said, "Bruce, you were so good in The Sixth Sense. How did you pretend not to care while a 10-year-old acted circles around you? And I loved the twist at the end of 'The Sixth Sense' when Bruce goes back to making shitty movies."
"I was Bruce’s wife for the first three Die Hard movies. Which explains why the last two sucked," she joked. "I remember when Bruce got cast in Pulp Fiction. He went to Harvey Weinstein’s hotel one night and came back the next morning saying 'I got the part!'" she continued as part of her roast. While directly addressing her divorce to the action star, Moore shared, "People wondered why our marriage came to an end. I think it's because some jealousy started to creep in. ... Bruce never got over the fact that I rocked the bald look better than he did."
Gordon-Levitt also did a great job at roasting Willis and shared, "Bruce Willis is what you get if you isolate the white part of Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson". While referencing the star's divorce, Gordon-Levitt added, "Bruce, we're going to have a good time tonight, but don't get too comfortable because later we're going to be replacing you with Ashton Kutcher".
Kevin Pollak who starred in 'Hostage' with Willis shared, "If you wanted to be humiliated, clearly we both know you could've just released another singing album. Some of you may not know because he bought every copy, but Bruce released an R&B LP back in the '80s. I did some research to find out whose idea this album was. Turns out, it was his manager. And by his 'manager,' I mean cocaine". Speaking of Bruce's music career, Stewart added, "I’m a big fan of Bruce’s music. I play it all my parties… when it’s late and time for everyone to leave."
Among the other highlights of the night, Jeff Ross too had some funny jokes in his arsenal as he shared, "Bruce Willis used to be a big action star. Now when you look in the mirror, you see dead people. I hope this roast doesn't end with you realizing your career was dead the entire time". After the show ended, a smiling and good-spirited Willis reportedly said, "My head is my head, that’s all. It cannot be fixed. This is it."