Body positive bartender reveals the things patrons no longer do after she gained weight
A bartender is speaking about the difference in how her customers treat her at work ever since she gained weight. An emotional Cassidy Tweedt used TikTok's Stitch feature to comment on another video and gained thousands of views. The original video, posted by TikTok user @lizagnabathwater, had requested people who have "had pretty privilege your whole life," to 'stitch' the video and "tell me what your worldview is."
TikTok user @lizagnabathwater had revealed her own experience around gaining the "pretty privilege." She spoke about how much nicer people treat her now as compared to how they used to treat her in the past when her appearance was different.
"I just recently got a degree of pretty privilege and it has been insane how kind people are when they find you attractive. People who wouldn't even look at me before, they go out of their way to be kind to me," @lizagnabathwater said, adding that it's likely a subconscious decision by other people to treat her differently.
Tweedt then stitched her experience to @lizagnabathwater's video and replied agreeing with it and then adding her own story on "pretty privilege".
"So I work in the service industry, I'm a bartender and, if you were unaware, the way you look influence a lot, whether that's tips or how people treat you, it just does." As she recounted her experience, Tweedt became emotional and said, "When I tell you my whole life changed when I started getting help for my eating disorder which resulted in weight gain after the pandemic. People don't even look you in the eye anymore, they're not nice to you, especially men."
The stark difference in treatment
"I would walk up and say, 'hey how's it going?' and I used to get, 'I'm doing really great honey, how are you?' Now it's a little more like, 'hey how's it going, what can I get you?' [and they reply] 'two Coors Light and a Bud Light,' and for people saying that doesn't actually happen, please raise your hand if you would willingly like to live as a fat person, and the fact no one raises their hand makes the point," Tweedt said in the video.
"I almost didn't notice the change in the way I was being treated. I remember being a little less happy when I left the bar at the end of the night, but I could never quite put my finger on it until someone else mentioned it," Tweedt reportedly told Newsweek.
When asked about the specific differences she noticed of late, Tweedt said that "eye contact is a big one. When patrons don't find you attractive they won't quite look you in the eye. They will talk to my co-worker instead of me when I am standing right next to her, as if I were a ghost they couldn't see or hear."
"You also get a lot of curt responses. I used to get a bit of small talk out of people and would have a quick laugh while I served them. Now they will often cut off my opening 'Hi how are y'all doing tonight?' with their drink order. In the past, I would hand people their change or receipt and say 'thank you!' and would be responded to with a 'thank you,' now they just walk away and don't even look back."
"When you've served the same crowds of people for over four years it's not difficult to see how the attitudes change as the weight comes on," she said.
In the video, Tweedt also explained the causes of her weight gain, including recovering from an eating disorder. Tweedt added that, "even if none of that was true, fat people don't owe you an explanation as to why they weigh what they do to deserve common courtesy and decency."
"We are all so quick to accept that people can be naturally skinny, but nobody wants to acknowledge some people could be naturally chubby. I'm healthy, I exercise, I eat well for my body, and yet my body just exists as a 14/16. But even if I wasn't doing any of those things, I shouldn't be ashamed of my body. There are plenty of thin people who live an incredibly unhealthy lifestyle and no one ever comments on their body," she said.
'It's about time'
Tweedt told the publication that this is an industry-wide issue. "I'm passionate about this issue because we need to stop accepting the use of beauty as a commodity. I know male bar managers that will only hire women, essentially using those female bartenders as a commodity," she said.
"The hope of getting with the hot bartender/flirting with her/watching her work is enough to keep business coming back and honestly, it's a little gross. It's 2021, can we please start respecting people for more than their looks?"
Room for change
Tweedt believes there is room for improvement and that "we are making a little bit of progress. Maybe not in the service industry, but in the minds of the everyday people. With so many big creators talking about this issue, more and more people are realizing the beauty standard of society needs to change."
She added, "I would have given anything to hear some of these things as a child, and maybe someday another girl will benefit from this work and choose to eat dinner instead of skipping it."
Tweedt's story is one that resonates with many people on social media. With 14 hours of the video being posted on TikTok, it earned over 500,000 likes and two million views. Many people chipped in with words of support and sharing their own experience.
"My weight has fluctuated all my life. I am 100 percent treated nicer when I weigh less," one user commented. "I've worked retail forever and just those days I'd go without makeup vs with, I noticed such a difference in the way people treat me," added another. "My tips are dramatically different without makeup. Also more 'smile more' comments on those days," related one viewer on days without makeup.