10 reasons why men and women cannot be 'just friends' with one another
There are plenty of reasons why men and women cannot be 'just friends' with one another, from feelings to hormones to even science!
The battle of the sexes is one that has been raging on for eons. Men have scored quite a few victories over the years but the fairer sex has never been too far behind. However, it can be said that at some subconscious level, these battles take place because they're trying to impress one another. In the end, our main intention will always be the continuation of our species and to that end, men and women are bound to end up together in some capacity or the other.
So the question arises: can men and women be 'just friends' with one another? Is it possible for two people of the opposite sex to have a completely platonic, non-sexual relationship where both are equally satisfied? Where one person isn't hopelessly in love with the other and desperately hides it so it doesn't irreversibly damage the friendship they've cultivated over many years? Sadly, the answer is no. And there are plenty of good reasons why it'll never be the case.
#10 Men and women are inherently different from one another
While we don't want to make the mistake of shoehorning the sexes into particular gender roles, you can't help but notice how vastly different a man's and a woman's interests are. Yes, stereotypes are a terrible thing, but they exist for a reason. Over the centuries, it has become obvious that a man prefers outdoor activities, sports, and the likes, whereas women show more interest in makeup and fashion. That's not to say there aren't people on both sides who prefer other activities, but the intersection of the Venn diagram of interests is almost always empty.
Because of these clash of interests, there isn't always any common ground to bond over. And well, the basis of any good friendship is common interests. You may find a guy and a girl who are friends once in a blue moon, but that's the exception and not the rule.
Think about it, when you see a boy and a girl walking down the street together, what's the first thought that enters your mind? It's that they're probably in some kind of relationship, right? Society has conditioned us in such a way that we can't help but automatically conclude that a boy and girl are dating if we see them together. Because of this, a possible friendship that could have taken place between a boy and a girl is already strained.
If by luck and chance the friendship does blossom, other factors begin interfering. First, the two themselves don't want any unseemly rumors floating around about them and second, they cave into parental pressure asking them to stay away from their friend.
If you are homosexual, then it's possible that a platonic relationship with a woman could work out. After all, nothing will ever happen between the two of you; unless you identify as bisexual, in which case things might get a lot messier. But if you're heterosexual, there's a good chance you will develop feelings for your friend at some point.
The reason is that we're genetically programmed to find the opposite gender appealing and attractive, and it's not possible to remain 'just friends' with a person who creates butterflies in your stomach every time you lay eyes on them.
Various scientific studies have proven that males and females can't just be friends. Guys often tend to overperceive a friendly gesture as something more. One case study, in particular, showed that males were more prone to fall for their significant female friends as well as overreading their gestures to be more romantic-like.
Females, on the other hand, underperceived their significant male friends’ gestures and flirtations; they are also not as much prone to falling for their male friends to the point that they had completely friendzoned them and understood this ‘platonic friendship’ to be mutual.
When a man and a woman develop a good friendship, it's more likely than not that the man will begin to show special care and consideration to the woman. It's something that's woven into our DNA and often because the woman might reciprocate these gestures, confusion arises as to whether there is a deeper level of affection involved. They tend to confuse friendship for love and this is where feelings get hurt.
While the girl wants a completely platonic relationship, the guy misunderstands her actions for a romantic relationship. This will lead to broken friendships.
Whenever someone does something illogical, the number one reason that never fails is hormones. It is a perfectly logical explanation which is also paraded out to explain why a friendship between a girl and guy will not work out. The notion of being 'just friends' is doomed from the start. It starts out as being friends, and that develops into being close friends and then one fine day, you're in a relationship!
Sadly, if there is a case of a boy and girl being good friends, it's usually because one of them is really good at keeping their inner feelings a secret.
There are cases when a boy and a girl become friends because they genuinely share interests with one another. They enjoy spending time together and there aren't thoughts of 'what would it be like if we were in a relationship?' But at some point, these dormant feelings erupt and you can longer hold what you feel for the other person inside.
You decide to pursue a relationship and if you're lucky, the other person mirrors these feelings. If it all works out in the end, that's well and good, but if it doesn't you two can never be friends again. What you see in sitcoms is nothing more than a pipe dream.
The issue with harboring a friendship with a person of the opposite sex is that there will always be an expectation of the friendship being different. No one wants having a girl-friend to be the exact same as having a guy friend. And of course, more often than not, such expectations lead to disappointment. This eventually leads to cold feelings between the two parties involved, which then leads to the inevitable fallout.
Each person subconsciously wants something from the other and it's rarely that those expectations are fulfilled. A common feeling is 'I've spent so long cultivating this friendship and if I leave now all this time will have been a waste.' To put it poignantly, don't be afraid to undo a mistake just because you spent so long making it in the first place.
When you get into a relationship, especially your first ever one, it's likely that you begin spending more time with your partners than your friends. The logic is that they've been around for so long and they're not going to leave, so might as well spend more time with your girlfriend. Now, if you're the friend, you feel bad enough when they don't hang out with you like they used to. But it's much worse if it's a friend from the opposite gender.
Jealousy stems from dormant feelings that you didn't know you had until they started dating and there's a sinking feeling that you're not as important to them as you used to be. No one likes being second choice.
Trust is arguably the number 1 reason why people fall out with one another. In a world where everyone thinks about themselves, people who you can genuinely trust are incredibly hard to find. This means forget building a friendship with someone of the opposite gender, you'll undoubtedly find it hard to build rapport with just about anyone.
While social media will have you believe that boys form friendships with girls under the pretext of taking advantage of it at some point in the future, it can also be argued that girls do the same; but for reasons such as getting free rides, free food and getting someone who'll be at their constant beck and call. It's not right, but it's how it is. For all intents and purposes, these are simply superficial friendships and calling it otherwise is doing an injustice to actual friendships.
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