Ask your partner these 13 personal questions and find your way back into love
Beware the answers to some of these questions, might surprise you or take your breath away!
If only the blissful wedding joy could last every couple a lifetime and the wedding bells could be rung every morning, would marital life be as "happily ever after" as in the movies. Surprise surprise, no matter how much we hope that were to be the case, a long-lasting relationship is comprised of bickering, compromises, sacrifices and lastly love amongst the many other things. When the negative three characteristics seem to dominate, it often becomes hard to unearth and recognize the underlying love the couple shares. Here are some powerful questions we have put together that allow for effective and honest conversations making way for the love and wedding joy to rise again.
Let your partner know that this would need to be a non-judgemental and honest discussion and that the things discussed during this session need not turn into an episode of raking up the past. Make the objective - of wanting to strike the love stones again - clear. Last, but not the least - pull a chair, grab a bottle of wine, light a candle and pour your heart out.
1. If you were stranded with someone on an island, who do you imagine yourself with?
The answer to this question would help both of you gain a deeper understanding of who that one person is - who your partner cannot live without. Do not be disappointed if that person is someone other than you and is instead your partner's child or parental figure. Try to understand what makes the chosen person indispensable for your partner and acknowledge those traits.
2. What sticks out to you about our first date?
Many people know that their date is there to stay in their very first meeting. Usually, the best bits of the date stick out and reminiscing the same would allow you to rekindle that passion that might have otherwise drifted away. Answering this question also might make you realize how much you have missed spending romantic time alone and help you take time out for the same.
3. What does a realistic and yet ideal day in your life look like?
The answer to this question would help you realize and understand your partner's daily desires and expectations. If you were able to predict your partner's answer to this question - you are in a good place and if you weren't - think of ways in which it would be possible to help your partner achieve her/his desires and live those ideal days.
4. What about me did you think was special when you decided to marry me?
Remembering what in the first place pulled you both together and made you want to decide to spend every day of the rest of your life with each other is powerful enough to bring back your wedding joy. This is one question where your own answer to the question is more important than your partner because it helps you relive your decision allowing for the respect and admiration to float back up.
5. What after family makes you want to wake up every morning or stay up nights for?
We often get too lost in the relationship, in bringing up a family and forget our old-time passions that are tucked away in the corners of our mind for the future. Realizing each other's aspirations and thinking of ways in which you can help one another to get there will bring you one step closer to feeling more fulfilled and appreciated.
6. Have I ever made you feel insecure? If yes, what action of mine leads to the insecurity?
Insecurity and infidelity are one of the leading causes of the death of relationships and are caught in a vicious circle resulting in unsatisfaction. The answer to this question should help the empathetic side in you grow stronger while you tell yourself to be conscious to either never repeat the insecurity inducing action or clear the air out everytime the action is performed in the future.
7. What is the one thing about me that needs immediate changing?
Nobody is perfect and comes wrapped in golden ribbons. Everyone has scope for improvement and a change for the better. Trust that your partner is your well-wisher and try to polish off those rugged sides by improving yourself. It could be as hard as your partner asking you to quit on an addiction like smoking - but making a sincere effort to change will help reinforce respect and understanding in the relationship.
8. If you could plan your death - how would you like it to be?
Stick in a question that gets your partner's imaginative mind running. Your partner's answer to this question might surprise you completely and open your eyes to their deeper and darker desires, thoughts and beliefs about life. Their answer also might help you realize how much they account for you in the planning of their life.
9. Have you ever hidden anything purposely from me in the past?
You do not have to disclose what you might have hidden - but just disclosing the fact that you might have hidden something from your partner or vice-versa - will help you rethink how effective you are in your communication and how you can improve to ensure a cleaner slate in the future.
10. Growing up, what did you imagine your ideal marriage life to be like? What about your ideal home?
After all, what are lovers for? To help each other build their fairytale home and keep it strong using buckets of love, sacrifice, and compromise. It can be enlightening and challenging to know how close or far you are from achieving that ideal married and home life.
11. If there is one tradition/new habit we could adapt to practice as a couple - what would you like it to be?
Spending even one hour - reading the same book, meditating, talking, cooking, gardening or practicing in a tradition together is like watering a plant with nectar. Try to take turns and adapt one productive practice that you will indulge in as a couple and see the miracles it leads to for yourself.
12. Do you have blind-eyed trust in me?
Trust makes the bare bones of many relationships. It is important to understand where you and your partner lie in the equation of trust. It will always be beneficial and healthy for your relationship to work towards allowing your partner to trust you more by having their back in everything they do.
13. How old do you see us having passionate sex till?
End with a fun question that helps you evaluate your physical chemistry. If your partner gives you an age that is only a couple of years from now - you know that it's time to spice things up in bed, and if they say, "till we're old and wrinkly from head to toe," you know you're doing just fine!
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