Oscars 2018: Best punchlines from host Jimmy Kimmel's no-holds-barred monologue
Jimmy Kimmel returned to the stage for the second time but this time, with better punchlines.
The Oscars 2018 was hosted by Jimmy Kimmel for the second time and keeping in mind the mishap which took place last year, there was no doubt that the TV host was going to bring his best game to the stage.
Undoubtedly, he did so with some of the best punchlines that he had in store. With his quirky remarks and digs aimed at Harvey Weinstein, Jimmy sure did manage to grab the attention of those in the audience and the viewers.
Here's a look at some of the best punchlines.
# Jimmy tries to joke about the mistake he made last time
"Greetings from Hollywood. It is a great honour to be invited back for a second time."
# Recalling the envelop mishap
"This year, when you hear your name called, don't get up right away."
# Telling people that accountants can be funny too'
"A week before the show last year the producers asked if I wanted to do some comedy with the accountants. I said no. So the accountants went ahead and did comedy on their own. And I have to hand it to them, it was hilarious."
# 'Get Out' as described by President Donald Trump
According to Jimmy, President Donald Trump refers to the movie as "the greatest three quarters of a movie ever".
# On Trump regime
Where there is darkness there is also hope. Except the White House, Hope quit on Wednesday.”
# He definitely did have his eye on Margot Robbie
Pointing at Margot he says, "Whose kneecaps did Tonya Harding have to break to get that kind of dream casting?"
# Letting everyone know how old Timothee is
"Timothee Chalamet is missing Paw Patrol to be here tonight."
# Revealing the true purpose of 'Call me by your name'
"We don't make films like Call Me By Your Name to make money, we make them to upset Mike Pence."
# Explaining why a woman would choose to date fish
"Guillermo Del Toro made a beautiful movie, and thanks to him we will always remember this as the year that men screwed up so badly, women started dating fish."
# Noting how Blank Panther is breaking records
"In the 47 minutes since tonight's show started, Black Panther has made another $48m at the box office. Black Panther has been so successful at the box office, it's already the favourite to not get nominated next year."
# Glorifying Black Panther again...
"Ceilings have been shattered. Our plan is to shine a light on a group of outstanding and inspiring films, each and every one of which got crushed by Black Panther this weekend.”
"I remember a time when the major studio heads didn't believe a woman or a minority could open a superhero movie and the reason I remember that time is because it was March of last year."
# One needs to know what the statue stands for
"That’s the kind of man we need more of in Hollywood keeps his hands where you can see them... No penis at all.”
# On why the winners should keep their speeches short
"Why waste precious time thanking your mother when you could be taking her for the ride of her life on a brand new jet ski?"
# The only man who was kicked out of the Academy besides Harvey Weinstein
"The Academy kicked him out and after they did I was curious so I looked it up, the only other person to be expelled was a character actor called Carmine Caridi, in 2004, who was kicked out for sharing screeners.Carmine Caridi got the same punishment as Harvey Weinstein for giving his neighbour a copy of Seabiscuit on VHS.
#On Hollywood's 'humility'
For those of you who say that Hollywood is out of touch with reality, each of the 45 million Swarovski crystals on this stage tonight represents humility.”
#The classic Matt Damon burn
"I'd like to apologize to the brave men and women fighting here and overseas for including Matt Damon in that montage."
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