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Video shows teachers brag about ignoring parents' request to use birth pronouns for queer students

The Gender and Sexuality Alliance's virtual panel had elementary teachers talking about how they dealt with parents who insisted on 'birth pronouns'

The virtual panel titled 'Creating and Sustaining GSAs [Gender and Sexuality Alliance] in Elementary Schools' saw moderator Katy Butler ask her fellow panelists a question regarding the usage of pronouns when it comes to their students on April 26. The inquiry asked for advice on how to deal with parents who are annoyed over "pronoun usage" when it came to their kids.

"What should we do if a parent requests that we refer to their child by the pronouns associated with their sex assigned at birth instead of their preferred pronouns and that we use a legal name instead of a student's chosen name?" asked Butler, who is a second-grade public school teacher at Harvey Milk Civil Rights Academy in San Francisco.

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Kieran Slattery, a co-panelist and a fifth-grade teacher at Jackson Street Elementary in Massachusetts, said, "So, I can respond with something that I’ve done. This came up for me, it's come up in a couple different ways, but it's come up for me where caregivers asked. I actually refer to their child's name... using the name they asked to be referred to and their chosen pronouns, and caregivers reacted very strongly."

"And then followed up with me and the principal, and said, like, 'I know you were using a different name than my child's given name at birth and the pronouns we gave them, and I'm respectfully asking that you use the name and the pronouns that we gave them,' So the laws in every state are different, obviously, and I can't speak to the laws in everyone's particular state, but I will say again, the resources that we'll give you after this have some helpful sites where you can look up what the rules are for your state," he added.

"Before I responded to the caregiver, I made sure I ran it by my principal and my superintendent just to make sure that they had my back. And then I responded, and I chose my words carefully and I said, 'I hear you, I hear what you're saying.' I tried to really affirm what the caregiver was asking me, like in terms of, 'I hear you saying that you're feeling uncomfortable with me using the child's preferred name and pronouns; I hear that you're using different ones at home. But here at school, the expectation is that all of my students feel comfortable and welcome in my classroom," Slatter continued.

"So, in my classroom, I will refer to your child by whatever name and pronouns that they've told me they feel most comfortable with. Just have that be it, almost like the guidelines I try to use when I'm, like, explaining hard topics to my students. Like, less is more. I just say, like, 'That sounds like it works really well for you at home, and you can absolutely choose to do whatever you like at home,'" he explained.

"In my classroom – and I even say, like, every year I start out my year by sending home information to caregivers that says, like, 'Just so you know, this is an affirming class, the way that I affirm students is I call them by the names they ask to be called by and use their correct pronouns.' I just told them, maybe that's not helpful. I just told them no, respectfully, no. And because I had my principal and my superintendent's support, there wasn't much they can do. And they eventually, kind of like, found another topic to squawk about. And they left that alone," Slatter concluded.

Daniel Alonso, a fifth-grade Spanish teacher at Chavez Elementary in Yonkers, New York, said, "Similarly to what Kieran said, in my school district, LGBTQ+ students have a bill of rights, and the fourth one is that they have the right to be referred to by their gender pronouns and a name that fits their gender identity. And so, similarly, there was a situation where a parent felt that the school was not doing what they wanted them to do, and we, I don't even know if we were respectful about it. We were just like, 'No, sorry. Like, our district-wide rule is that the student determines that, not you.'"

Heather Eig, who is a counselor at Maryland School, added, "Ours is the same, and again, it really speaks to where you're working, where the district is, the state laws, and really having the backing of your administration, and your superintendent, and a district that says, 'This is our policy' and I'm going to follow suit."

While conservatives were outraged over this, as usual; liberals spoke in favor of it. One user tweeted, "Grooming. Be careful about sending your kids to public school and make sure you know what they may or may not be being indoctrinated into. This behavior is disgusting."

One user, who supported what the teachers were doing, tweeted: "GOOD! I'm glad there's SOME adults out there that treat kids with an iota of respect. Like lmao, I don't know why you whiny bi*ches can't understand that your kids are individuals, not pieces of goddamn property you can force your will onto."

The same user continued in the tweet thread, saying: "You can't force 'em to believe in your religion, you can't make 'em follow your political beliefs, and you sure as shit don't get to dictate what gender identity they have to align with or which pronouns they get to use!! LMAOOO last time I checked a kid exploring gender expression or—LE GASP!—using different pronouns doesn't end the fucking world! And btw 'grooming' is a term for when an adult/older kid gains a kid's trust/manipulates them so they'll be more susceptible to being sexual abuse."

"It's NOT when a teacher calls a kid by their preferred pronouns! Christ, where the hell do y'all get off claiming that shit you sick f*cks!??!—Sincerely, a NON-BINARY ADULT whose own childhood would've been a helluva a lot better if I'd had folks like these teachers in my life," the thread concluded.