Comedian shares heartbreaking story about newborn son's death: 'Tragedy is still so taboo, even in the era of the overshare'
"But grief is not one thing, it is a galaxy of emotions, most of which are put in orbit by the loss of someone you loved, and the harrowing (or not) circumstances surrounding that loss," Michael Cruz Kanye wrote
Comedian Michael Cruz Kayne had mostly used Twitter to make others laugh, that is until November 19, when he finally decided to share something that really mattered to him — the death of his newborn son Fisher and the harrowing aftermath.
"This isn't really what Twitter is for, but 10 years ago today my son died and I basically never talk about it with anyone other than my wife. It's taken me 10 years to realize that I want to talk about it all the time," Kayne began writing on Monday, November 25, in a series of tweets.
Soon enough, the tweets went viral. He said that he wished more people would ask questions about the experience of losing a child.
"Most of the conversations we have about grieving are very very weird. Tragedy is still so taboo, even in the era of the overshare. It's all very 'sorry for your loss' and tilted heads and cards with calligraphy on them and whispering. We're all on tiptoes all the time," Kayne wrote.
He added: "But grief is not one thing, it is a galaxy of emotions, most of which are put in orbit by the loss of someone you loved, and the harrowing (or not) circumstances surrounding that loss. But we only get to talk about one part publicly: the sadness."
but there is more! some things make me angry: when the hospital prepared us for his death, one of the doctors kept saying "your daughter" repeatedly until I said through gritted teeth "he is a boy".— MCK (@CruzKayne) November 19, 2019
some things make me confused: we cremated our son. how the fuck does that work? like, what are steps one through ten of that process?— MCK (@CruzKayne) November 19, 2019
some things make me laugh: the funeral home handed us a receipt after our son's funeral that said "thank you come again" at the bottom.
After that, he revealed Fisher has an identical twin brother, Truman, and a seven-year-old sister named Willa.
"Our dead son has a twin, who is very much alive. and he's really just great. And that's crazy too, because the better he is, the more I'm like 'ahhhhh shit I wish his brother were alive'."
"And they both have a sister, who asked us to put an extra candle in her brother's birthday cake, and who led us in writing a story about her dead brother tonight (and yeah we talk about our dead son with our living kids all the time because IDK that's what we decided to do?)," he tweeted.
So why did Kanye suddenly decide to share his heartbreaking life story and what was the purpose behind his stream of tweets? He said that he hoped him opening up about his son's death would inspire others to come forward and reach out to their friends to do the same.
"Ask your sad friend about the sad thing that you never talked about," he said. "Grief is isolating, but not just because of the sadness. Also because the sadness is the only part about it that anyone knows."
"Not a single person has ever been unkind about my son, but almost no one considers the fullness of his loss and how complicated and weird and everything else it was and continues to be. Having just recently started talking to other grievers, I know many of them feel the same," he added.