Not everyone in the world has found happiness, some have found the depth of hell and they are fighting it. They have fallen under difficult circumstances and have lost a lot. They have had bitter experiences and some may even have lost the will to get their lives back together. 'I hate myself', is the refrain you may hear from them and they are truly struggling to find a way around it. But why? Why do some people end up hating themselves?
Here, we have 10 reasons which have been a common issue with those who have found themselves engulfed in negativity. (Note: There are more reasons than these 10 and people need to start talking to get out of this phase in life).
#10 They do not accept their bodies
Body issues and body shaming have become a regular part of life. The body image we have in our minds and the pressure to live up to the societal standards of beauty create a lot of discomforts. Some of us buckle under the pressure and strive hard to accept our bodies as it is. The pressure to live up to standards gets to them and if their bodies do not match the image they have in their minds, they end up rejecting it and hating themselves. This, they need to understand, is not the solution. Accepting your body as it is, is the only way out.
#9 They set unrealistic goals
A lot of the people who hate themselves do not realize that they have set unrealistic goals for themselves. There is a mismatch between what they are capable of doing and what they wish to achieve. Working hard is good but one needs to have a real understanding of the goals before we set out to achieve them. It is this mismatch that gets to them and they end up hating themselves. Setting achievable goals is a much better way to approach the problem.
#8 They have generalized rejection
A lot of us end up hating ourselves because we have, one time or the other, suffered rejection. The rejection may have been in our professional, personal or love life. Some of us, however, generalize these specific cases. They start thinking that they are just not worth it and would always be rejected. The feeling of generalized rejection creates a pressure which not everyone can handle but we need to differentiate between specific cases and general ones to get out of this hateful feeling.
#7 They don't get appreciated for who they are
Who doesn't wish to be accepted for who they are? Who doesn't wish for appreciation? Some of us do need appreciation to feel motivated. Over time, as we feel less and less appreciated, we feel less needed and this results in the feeling of not being loved. It gets manifested negatively and people start hating themselves for it. Is this something we should hate ourselves for? No, we should not.
#6 They carry a lot of regrets
Not all of us have the capability of dealing with our mistakes in a rational and healthy way. Some of us are not able to let go and we end up carrying an emotional baggage that becomes unbearable in time. It doesn't allow them to bounce back to their feet and they end up feeling dejected. In extreme cases, they even end up hating themselves.
#5 They have lost trust in themselves
Consistent failures, long periods of dejection and bitter experiences, sometimes, overwhelm a person to the extent that they lose trust in their own abilities. They lose their confidence and start believing that failures would haunt them forever. This kind of thinking adds further to their low self-esteem and they end up internalizing failure. This is the moment they need a loved one, the most, to pull them out of this phase.
#4 They fear to ask for help
People who end up hating themselves fear that they would not be understood if they spoke out about their concerns. They enter their shell and refuse to seek any kind of help. This puts them further into a depressive thought process, making it difficult to come out. If you are going through this, seeking help immediately is the thing you owe yourself.
#3 They have had more negative experiences than positive ones
Not everyone copes with failures and bitter experiences the same. Some of us learn and move on while some fail to get out of this rut. Their negative experiences keep piling up and even if they have positive experiences, they remain focused on counting the bad ones. It's something that happens without them even knowing it and before they know it, they feel trapped. Looking back at the positive experiences and seeking out more of them is a good way to move on.
#2 They feel inadequate
Inadequacy...physical, intellectual or emotional, manifests itself in the form of insecurities and as one grows insecure, their self-esteem plummets. The difference between who they wish to be and who they are starts increasing and they start feeling despondent. This sense of inadequacy makes them lose faith in themselves and in extreme cases, they end up hating themselves. Acceptance ourselves the way we are is the only way to get out of this phase.
#1 They have relinquished power over themselves
People who end up hating themselves have given all their power away. They have become dependent on validation from outside to remain happy. They have put someone else in charge of their happiness and it leads to a feeling of uncertainty which becomes overwhelming. The thing to keep in mind is that only we are in charge of our happiness and we need to keep that power with us to lead a healthy life.
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