Amy Schumer reveals her X-rated wedding vows for Chris Fischer, and they are hilarious
The comedian finally opened up about her surprise wedding to the successful chef
Looks like Amy Schumer is finally opening up about her surprise wedding to Chris Fischer, and she started with her hilarious wedding vows.
The 36-year-old I Feel Pretty actress spoke up on her pal Nikki Glaser‘s SiriusXM show, giving details about the wedding. Amy revealed that her vows sucked, so she tried to salvage it with something X-rated that she said during her wedding vows.
“Mine sucked!,” she admitted. “I thought mine were good, I wrote mine in like, 20 minutes. I was crying when I wrote them, but his blew me out of the water so hard.”
Nikki, who was at the wedding, responded to Amy with a funny memory. “I remember a joke from yours,” she told the newlywed. “You go, ‘You make me laugh, you make me smile, you make me feel loved, you make me food.’”
Amy then elaborated further on the exact words. “In my vows, I go, ‘But I promise I’ll keep going down on you, even though everyone tells me I won’t,’ she hilariously revealed. “And his were like, heckling me too. He was like, ‘The other day I lost a tennis match and you called me a f**king loser.’ It was all like, awful sh*t.”
She went further in the conversation with Nikki and jokingly talked about how horrible a wife she is to her chef husband.
“All his stories about me that were supposed to be endearing were about me screaming at him,” Amy continued.
“I just annoy him all day. I’ll be like, ‘Do you want to play a game?’ and he’s like, ‘What?’ And I’m like, ‘Guess how many times I sneezed today?’ And like, that’ll be the game. And he’ll be like, ‘Three.’ And I’ll be like, ‘Don’t remember!’ And he’s like, ‘I’m spending my life with this worthless monster?’”
However, the comedian still believes that she's a "wife as hell" and that it's a "novelty."
“Somebody went to sit next to [Chris] and he’s like, ‘My wife is sitting here,’ and then I got back and he was excited to tell me that he said that. I just have been really overusing it to a degree that’s insane. Like, when it’s completely uncalled for.”
The pair tied the knot a week ago at a beachfront estate in Malibu after a few months of dating. The ceremony was attended by a bunch of celebrities including Jennifer Lawrence, Jake Gyllenhaal, Chelsea Handler, Larry David, Jennifer Aniston and Jerry Seinfeld, who must have laughed their heads off at Schumer’s classically vulgar vows.
If you have any views or stories that you would like to share with us, drop us an email at firstname.lastname@example.org